This Mess That We Are

And When The Morning Comes

( I has no fanart to put up so here's a cut off pic of Mike Faist looking freaking hot.)
Evan's eyes flickered open from his groggy sleep. His head rest on Connor's shoulder, as the two of them sat on the couch. He quickly distanced himself, looking around for Zoe. He walked into the kitchen, to find his mom.

"Hey ma, w-where'd Zoe g-go?"
"She walked over to Alana's place earlier this morning." She replied sipping her coffee softly.
"What time is it," he mumbled, his words muffled by his yawning.
"Showtime." His mother responded giggling to herself.
"You know that's not what I meant." He said annoyed.

She smiled, her eyes droopy, from her major lack of sleep.
Suddenly, a rustling noise came from behind. Connor now stood, in the doorway, the pajama pants I loaned him hiking up his ankles.

"Good morning, Evan and Ms. Hansen."
"Morning Connor." Evan replied weakly, stumbling at every new word.
Heidi, motioned for Connor to come over. She smiled at him and he loosened his previous tension.
" you need better pants, this is just freaking sad." Heidi said laughing to herself.
"I know, how short is your son?" He asked in his usual mocking tone.
" I am average height, thank you very much. You're just very tall." Evan said defensively.

"Okay, okay," Connor started," where's your shower, I am a garbage fire, and my dad will kill me if I show up at home like this."
"Upstairs first door to the right," Evan said nonchalantly.

Connor trudged his way up the stairs, making sure to be extra loud, just to piss Evan off. When he was out of earshot Heidi turned to face Evan, trying to keep on her responsible adult face. That didn't last longer than five minutes.

"So are you two dating?" His mother pried.
"W-what the heckling spruce m-mom?" He said surprised and red in the face.
"You didn't answer my question Evan," she replied.
"No mom, I only met him three days ago!"
She gave him a look of disbelief. He couldn't stand her judging eyes upon him. He looked away instinctively.
"Mhm." She mumbled in her sassiest voice.
"What-t-ever mom." Evan said now a bright cherry red.

He realized the shower water had stopped not being able to hear the potter pat of the droplets. To avoid the conversation topic any more, he raced up the rickety stairs to fetch his lyric book. He stepped into his overly blue room, and intruded on a shirtless Connor. His face turned pink.

"Nope, Nope, Nope Evan Hansen has left the Christian Roblox server." Evan said as he closed the door immediately.

Not long after Connor opened the door, now fully clothed. Evan let out his breath unaware to the fact that he was holding it in the first place.

"You have been hanging out with Jared to much, his nerdy memes are rubbing off on you." Connor said with a smirk tugging at his lips.
"Whatever" Evan says pushing past him and grabbing the tiny journal. Without another word he headed back downstairs.
He looks around. By now his mom is gone. There's a yellow sticky note plastered on the fridge. Even better it said,

I'm going out, I have a last minute shift, covering for Eliza. She's going through the unimaginable, right now. I left twenty bucks. You and Connor go do something fun. I'll be back at 3:00 ish, if it goes as planned.
-Mom

Connor was now at the foot of the stairs, dressed in his usual black get up, a silver chain dangling from his pocket. He smiles at Evan.
"So what do you want to do today?" Connor asked inquisitively." I know this old timey ice cream parlor we could hang at. It's next to a field framed with trees."
"Where is this place, take me there." He said in his best low impersonators voice.
Connor just giggled, like a real giggle. A girly laugh that was ruining his emo bad boy reputation. He looked at Evan.

" You didn't hear that, got it?" He says seriously.
Evan nods still laughing a little to himself.
He pulled out his song book and resided on the couch.

He stares at the blank page, wishing some inspiration would strike. It didn't.

"What are you writing Ev?"
"U-um n-n-nothing." He replied embarrassed.
"Uh huh." Connor replied sarcastically.
" So you ready to go, C-Connor?"
"Uh, yeah but you're not," he said as he pointed at his pine tree themed pajama pants.
"Oh, right. Let me go change, I'll be back." Evan replied.
Without realizing Evan left his book on the counter, he raced upstairs to change.
Evan slipped on his blue polo and khaki shorts as quickly as possible. His hair was crazy even after he brushed it , so he just let it be not straight. Who knows maybe his hair was gay. He stepped out of his room not long after. That's when he saw Connor. His face leaning in on the recycled paper pages. (Evans a tree lover, you expect him to use regular paper?! Disgusting!)
He immediately broke down face flushed with embarrassment. He rushed down the worn stairs and snatched the book from Connor's cold fingers.
"W-w-what're you doing?" He almost yelled.
"I'm sorry, Evan, I know I shouldn't have."
"Damn r-right." Evan said tears brimming his eyes, threatening to come pouring out.
Connor looked shocked as he walked back upstairs and slammed the door.

'Wait did Evan just curse, no not the time Connor!'
He thought to himself.
He just done fucked up.
He wanted to clear the slate and start over, but there was no fixing this.
He left the house and walked to his own, trying not to think about what had happened.
His phone vibrated wildly. He checked the updates.

110 new texts from 'TheInsanelyCool'

He groaned, he knew the moment he unlocked the phone he would see countless messages of Jared going mama bird on his ass. He broke down right there. Ugly sobs, escaped his voice. Suddenly, he felt someone tap on his shoulder. He turned, and saw a boy, about his age, who was slightly shorter than Evan. He was in a bright red jacket. Pins and buttons badazzled his sleeves, including a pride flag patch. He had glasses that constantly slipped down the bridge of his nose.
"Hey I'm Michael," the boy said," I was wondering if I could walk with you, since my buddy kind of left me alone."
"Uh sure," Connor said, his voice stained with the sound of tears.
"Hey what's wrong dude?" Michael asked concerned.

"I done fucked up." Connor said with a forced chuckle.

"You want to talk about it?"
"Not really, but it's probably better than bottling it up and then offing myself in my room."

"Ok, I'm going to ignore that last part, what's up." Michael said.

And then Connor shattered open letting all his mess up flow through him like a raging river.

Michael stared at him.
"That's kind of messed up man."
"I know."
"So what are you gonna do about it."

"I don't know."