Transformation: Blooming Forever More

Memoir 1 - That Silly Pigeon

Friday 25th January 2019, 15:13

We were about to leave the Waltham Cross Mall area to go to Nationwide, when I saw a pigeon had come through the automatic doors that open outwards, to the right of the other doors.

I could see it coming from a mile off.

Maybe that's why I wasn't as scared as maybe I would have been if I hadn't noticed.

Then the doors shut and it jumped like it had just been crept up on.

It then started flying around frantically, and I realised, in horror, that there was nowhere high for it to land by the top windows.

Both me and my Mum flinched and gasped as it banged its head against the window twice, making a loud percussive noise that echoed through the building. That could kill it, I thought.

Then it came towards us, towards me, as if to ask for help.

I couldn't help but cower to try to stop it from landing on me (I didn't want it to hurt itself or me trying to land. Having a bird phobia doesn't help) and Mum shielded (the only way to describe it) me so that it wouldn't try.

It was almost as if I could feel the pigeon's fear, and I knew that with the bird that frightened and me being afraid of it (even though I did sympathise and empathise, as I was afraid of the pigeon, and it was petrified of me), I couldn't help it.

As it came towards me, I fell halfway to the floor and cried out, willing it to escape and be safe.

Funnily enough, I didn't feel afraid, exactly. It was more like I was afraid of it hurting itself than it actually getting close, landing on me or hurting me because it was afraid.

Within a few seconds, it flew off in the opposite direction as my Mum tried to pull me into the doorway of Bonmarché.

Just after it happened, a man from the store came out and asked us if I was ok. My Mum explained to him that I had a bird phobia, and I nodded, laughing nervously.

I was shaky.

But I was proud of myself for trying to overcome my fear, and viewing from a new perspective.

In a way, I'm grateful for that experience, because it showed me just how much humanity has sovereignty over this world, and everything that inhabits it, as well as making me less afraid of things that fly, and more considerate. It also made me think about how I can cope with unpredictable animals alone, and how I relate to nature.

I think I'm more sympathetic than scared now.

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Just so you all know, this actually happened today, the day I edited this, so I'm really proud of myself!

I hope that people soon feel like they can talk more about their fears and overcome them just like I've been taking steps to.

And if anyone in this community ever needs support, please, pm me. I always have time for people.

Thank you for all the views, votes and recommendations for my work so far! I love you all, and I'll see you later! 🖤