Part Two: the Sequel

I'm lonely, guys

I know this is stupid, but... I feel like I'm being ignored by my friends. Realistically, they're probably just busy or something, but it's hard not to convince my stupid anxious self that they don't hate me when I can never get a text back, and when I text someone trying to get together with them and they won't open my text asking what time they're free, even though they opened the previous text asking if we could get together today, and when I see everybody together on social media and I'm just here doing nothing but being dumb and lonely. I try not to assume the worst, but... I dunno. I've been asking people to hang out so much recently because I'm a lonely piece of garbage, but no one can, and that's not their fault, but it doesn't stop me from being lonely and I know I'm just whining at this point but I kind of don't care. And I feel like I'm starting to annoy my friends with how much I ask to get together, and I hate that because I'm so scared of pushing them away by being too clingy and needy, but I'm afraid that if I don't initiate conversations and ask people to hang out myself, no one will do that for me and slowly I'll drift away from all my friends until I'm left with no one, and I'm scared of being alone. I'm just scared and anxious and I don't know what to do with myself or about my friends, and I just... I don't know. This sucks. Should I just give up? Maybe people just really, really don't want to be around me. Ugh. I don't know. At this point I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Then I won't ever overthink anything ever again. The dream life. 

I hate myself for this.