Part Two: the Sequel

Hey.

So... I'm not technically supposed to be here. On Wattpad. Or whatever. My parents decided I was talking like a slut like, a year (?) ago, and decided to ban me from basically all social media, including Wattpad. But I figured I'll do what I want now, seeing as I'm like, eighteen and about to move out in however many months and such. And it's not like my parents are going to find out about this anyway. 

Anyway. 

It's weird looking at my profile now. I was so different before The Incident, and it's weird to see how much I've changed. It's sad looking at my profile again, too. I looked in my inbox and saw messages from my old friends (and some that I still have!) writing me, wondering where I'd went or if I'd died or something. It really broke my heart seeing Alexx's message to me, asking if I'm okay and what happened. I don't know why. It's nice to know that someone cares that much. 

Are any of my friends still here, even? Or have you all moved on? I dunno. I feel kind of... silly? Immature? writing on here now, after all this time. Like this website was a part of my childhood and was meant to stay that way. Oh well. I'll just pretend this was all for the sake of nostalgia. 

So! An update on my life. Here goes. 

I've joined an honors band. Our first (and only) concert was this past Friday. Two of my friends came to see it and honestly, it made my entire day. People don't usually come to see my things, so I usually just assume no one is there when I have a thing, even if I post a bunch about it. You can imagine my surprise when these two dorks showed up. I don't think I've been that happy since... well, in a long time. I've also joined an honors orchestra. I love my orchestra to pieces, and I've made two friends from it! I love them so much, and I really miss them! I can't wait to see them again. We meet every Tuesday to rehearse at the community college, and it's one of the best parts of my week. 

Speaking of honors orchestra, that's what made me realize that I don't want to go into baking and pastries for college, I want to go into music. Specifically music education. I've got an audition scheduled on February 23rd, and I literally have never been more anxious for anything in my entire life ever. I'm not even exaggerating. I have to memorize all major scales and all melodic minor scales, which suck more than most things on this planet and I hate having to memorize them because they go up one way and down another. Major ugh. I also have to perform two pieces (either solos or etudes) in contrasting styles, totaling 5-7 minutes. That should be fun. And then I have a piano skills assessment, which technically I don't actually have to do, I just have to mark off that I have no piano experience (my mother is still convinced that I have to try to play something and keeps bringing it up, no matter how many times I reassure her that I don't. You'd think she was the one auditioning, with how much she worries about this stupid thing). After that, I have a technical skills assessment, a sight reading assessment, and an aural audition, which I have no idea how to prepare for. I am very nervous. The only thing that makes me not nervous is practicing, which I guess is a good thing, but there's only so much practicing I can do before my face feels like it's going to fall off. 

Moving on. 

I was accepted into CMU! This is the college I dreamed of going to as a little girl. It's surreal to think I'll be a student there next fall. Or this fall? Either way, I'm so excited! 

I also told my friends about the eating disorder I'd been struggling with for six years. And now I'm telling you! If you're reading this. And didn't already know about it. Um... So. Yeah. That's a thing. I can talk about it more, if you guys like, in a separate post, but for now I'll leave it at this. 

Scholarships are also a thing. CMU sent me an email saying I'd make ~$17,000 in scholarships? And that's only so far. Right now, I only have to pay like, $8,737 a year for college. Wild. I'm hoping to bring that down to $0 a year, but who knows if that's going to happen. 

I just discovered a hole in my leggings. That's sad.

I'm also exploring this whole self love thing. It's weird. I have ups and downs, as expected, but I've been on a nice upward trend lately. Earlier, I saw my reflection in the window and literally danced across the room because of how excited I was about my body and how much I loved it. 

Anyway. I should really end this here. Partially because this is getting to be very long, and partially because I should be getting to bed. I do have school tomorrow. 

Goodnight, guys. It's been nice talking to you. Who knows? Maybe I'll keep writing. I miss it. Either way, I'm gonna end this one here. 

Bye, pals.