Nick & Bailey

40. Bailey

I can barely move once I have all my gear on, but Evan and I hold hands as the crowded plane rises into the sky for thirty minutes. I'm beginning to understand just how high 10,000 feet really is. There's at least ten other people skydiving today, but Evan and I are the only first-timers, so we're jumping first. My anxiety is trying to rear it's ugly head, but my excitement is overpowering everything else.

I'm attached to a very nice man named Hank, who says he's done this hundreds of times before. That does make me feel better.

When the moment of truth arrives, the door is opened and it is the loudest noise I've ever heard. Hank and I crawl over to the plane opening. He doesn't even give me a chance to take in the moment before propelling us into the blue. That was smart, I probably would have chickened out.

Once we are in the air, I expected to feel like I was flying, but I don't. I feel like I'm falling. But it's a good falling. I can't see or hear anything, so I have no sense of how fast we are going. Time is frozen, and all my confusion, and worry, and indecision, vanishes.

My cheeks are flapping in the wind, and my heart is beating out of my chest. I look over, and I can see Evan. I can't see his face, but I'm sure he has the same goofy expression on his face as I do.

We come to what feels like an abrupt stop when Hank pulls the parachute, and I can take a moment to look at the view. The magnitude of what I am doing hits me for maybe the first time. I already want to do this again.

The landing is smooth. Hank is a pro, landing in a run and leading me to do the same. Evan and his instructor land seconds later, and I wait impatiently to be unhooked from my equipment. As soon as I am, I turn around to hug Hank--I've discovered that I'm very affectionate after a simulated dangerous experience--and run to Evan.

As I jump into his arms, he catches me with ease. I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him deeply. I'm still high from my jump and don't care that there are people all around us. I pull back, but don't release my legs. "I don't want to drive two hours, let's get a hotel room, or your car, whatever. I don't care. Now."

He nods eagerly and sets me down.

We stop at the first motel we see and Evan gets out to pay the lobby attendant. I'm not nervous, as I thought I might be. I know what Evan expects to happen in this room, and he's right. After feeling detached from the earth and humanity, I need to feel connected to someone.

When he returns to the car, he's smiling to himself. "What's so funny?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "The attendant asked if we'd just been skydiving. Apparently they get a lot business from couples that come from there."

I laugh too. "That makes sense."

We enter the room, and Evan begins talking. "So what--"

I cut him off with my mouth. I don't want to talk. I don't want to think. I just want my incredibly sexy boyfriend to fuck me.

He matches my intensity, and we only break apart as I grab his shirt and pull it over his head. I toss it behind me and run my hands down the ripples of his abs before leaning down to kiss them. It makes him shiver.

We are still standing next to the door, so I hook my finger around his belt loops and lead him to the bed. I have a moment of clarity as I grab the comforter and toss it on the floor. I've read how disgusting those things are.

I switch positions with Evan, so his back is to the bed before pushing him onto it. I climb on top of him, sitting up straight, and quickly pull my shirt and bra off, tossing the items. "You are incredible," he says, running his hands along my legs.

I bring my mouth back to him as I reach between us to undo the buckle of his belt. I unsnap his jeans and reach into them. I can feel him through his boxers. He is ready to go, but I begin to stroke him anyway. He groans.

I love the power I have over this big, strong, man. He weighs over double what I do, but he is at my mercy.

"Are we really doing this?" he asks against my mouth.

I nod. He always asks too many questions.

I roll off of him and begin pulling my leggings down. He does the same with his remaining clothes and grabs a condom from the wallet in his back pocket. He lies on top of me, supporting his weight with his arms and using his legs to spread mine. I feel him at my entrance, and suddenly remember. "Just so you know, I haven't done this for like two years."

"I'm sure I'll be fine."

I chuckle slightly. "I wasn't actually worried about you."

He shakes his head. "Sorry. That was a crappy thing to say."

I bring my hand to his face. "It's fine. Just go slow, okay?" I don't even know why I told him—especially right now. Couldn't have picked a better time to ruin the moment.

He nods and looks down, between us. He enters me slowly, and it hurts only a little bit. Once he is completely inside me, I gasp. "Are you okay?" he asks.

"No more questions, Evan.""

I feel him nod against my shoulder, and he begins moving. It's...adequate. He's doing everything I know he should be doing, but I'm not feeling the way I think I should be feeling. I felt closer to an orgasm while I was free falling through the air than I do right now. Maybe I'm thinking too much. I need to clear my brain.

Once I do that, it does start to feel good. I begin to feel a warmth in my stomach. I'm waiting for it spread through my body, but it doesn't get a chance. Evan makes a choking sound before thrusting into me one more time. I think it's over.

Instead of collapsing on top of me, he rolls onto his side, out of breath. "I'm sorry."

I smile sweetly at him. I'm not sure how I feel right now. He takes the condom off and throws it into the trash can next to the bed. When he comes back to me, he begins kissing my stomach, moving lower. "Wait, Evan, no."

He looks up at me. "But you didn't..."

"It's fine, Evan, really. Just come up here," I say, pulling him by his shoulders.

He lies next to me, and I rest my head on his chest. Neither one of us speaks. Evan is trying to catch his breath, and when he does, he finally speaks. "Bailey, that was...not good."

I raise my eyebrows and turn my head to look at him. I agree, but I can't believe he said it out loud. He sees my face and tries to explain. "I don't mean you. You were great. You were fantastic. That was the problem. I couldn't even think straight. I swear, next time will be better."

"I'm sure it will," I say as I return my mouth to his.