Nick & Bailey

63. Bailey

"Nick, what is going on?" I ask.

His eyes are pleading with me. "Bailey..."

He reaches his hand up, but when he touches my face, I smack it away. He's not going to distract me. "Tell me, Nick."

He swallows slowly, resigning. "Okay. But not here. Let's go back."

I nod, and we turn to leave. The girl gives me a death glare when I look at her one more time.

We walk to the dorms in silence. All the possible scenarios are running through my head. He hasn't mentioned hooking up with anyone at school, but why would he? Something obviously happened between Nick and this girl, but what could have been so bad? They had sex and he never called her again? Something worse? I can't imagine Nick being so cold, but he didn't even want to look at her when she spoke to him—like he was ashamed.

Plus, am I even allowed to be upset about this? We weren't even on speaking terms last semester...unless it happened more recently. That thought makes me sick.

We enter his room, and he tosses the blankets onto the floor before sitting on his bed. He wants me to sit next to him, but I can't. I'm too anxious.

We are silent for several seconds, but I need answers. "Talk, Nick."

He clears his throat and looks at the floor. "Have you ever heard of Tinder?"

"Yeah. It's like a dating app or something, right? Why?"

"Well that's where I met that girl."

"You were on a dating app? What does this have to do with anything? Did you hook up with her?"

He looks at me. "Yeah, I did."

"And never talked to her again?"

He nods.

"Nick, how could you do that?"

He takes a deep breath. "I did it a lot, Bailey. That girl came up to us, but it could have easily been someone else."

"Why do you keep saying 'that girl'? What's her name?"

"I don't know." He runs his hands through his hair. "I don't know her name."

My legs feel weak, so I sit down on the floor. "You don't know her name? You fucked her and you don't know her name?"

"I'm sorry, Bailey."

"Why are apologizing to me?!? You should be saying sorry to her!"

"She'll be fine. She knew what was happening. She didn't care at the time. Honestly, I doubt she knows my name either."

What is happening? The walls begin closing in. How was my Nick able to do this? The affection and respect he has shown me this last week couldn't have come from the same person. I study him. "Who are you?"

He slides off the bed and toward me on the floor. I could reach out and touch him—if I wanted to. His nearness is helping with my anxiety, though.

"I'm still me. I just...messed up. I wasn't thinking clearly at the time."

"How many? How many girls did you fuck?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. Twenty? Thirty? I want to be honest with you, but I just don't know. I tried to forget about it every time after, so I couldn't even guess."

"When was the last time? I mean, did you do it again after we..."

"No!" He holds my hand in his. "It was over even before that, but ever since you and I were together, I haven't even looked at anyone else. I swear."