Natalie & King

Ch.12

I sat on the table in the doctors office wringing my fingers together anxiously. I was already uncomfortable having to wear the stupid gown with nothing under it and having to go thru getting exams and having blood drawn, I was over it. Not to mention being in the room next to the ultrasound machine brought back all of the feelings I had when I got my first ultrasound of King. I was terrified. This time, I was terrified and annoyed.

Bay sat in the corner with King on her lap. He still didn't really understand why we were here and it upset him to see all the nurses and doctors messing with me but Bay was keeping him calmed down. I was comforted with her here with me. She was so excited and even though I wasn't, she made me want to be. The ultrasound machine beside me looked the same as I remember; there was nothing on it that I understood besides the screen and the wand that the tech used to violate me with. I was dreading it.

As the nurse entered the room, she smiled warmly at me and asked if I was ready. I almost said no but Bay interrupted me and basically screamed yes. She had enough excitement for the both of us. I laid back on the table as the nurse dimmed the lights and turned the machine on. After taking another glance at Bay and King in the corner to make sure I wasn't flashing them, I sighed and closed my eyes for a quick second. The nurse took the ultrasound wand and placed the protective covering on it. I hated this part more than anything. The first ultrasound is always vaginal and it was extremely uncomfortable having something shoved up there and moved around in unnatural angles. And the lube they used made me feel sticky until I could get in the shower to wash it off.

The tech started, first taking pictures of my ovaries and other parts of my uterus for the doctors to examine. I squeezed my hands into fists as I stared at the screens black and white images that I didn't understand. The only reason I knew what she was looking at was because she would label the picture before saving it. Bay was silent but her eyes were wide with excitement. I wanted to feel the same energy that she felt but I couldn't. I couldn't help that I didn't want to be pregnant. When the tech finally got to the baby, I knew exactly what I was seeing. She didn't have to tell me because there it was. My little tiny baby, no bigger than the size of a bean. I couldn't stop myself from smiling when I saw her start wiggling, as hard as I tried not to. There was my baby. I looked over at Bay and her smile was blinding.

"There's a baby inside your mommy's belly. You see it?" she let King lean closer while he squinted his eyes and then he broke out into a contagious fit of giggles.

"I see the baby!" awe and excitement plus the innocence in his voice made my heart flutter. He looked so happy and so did Bay and neither one of them would take their eyes off the screen. It made me feel some type of way that I didn't expect. And then the tech found the heartbeat. The sound was a fast and rhythmic whooshing that made my heart soar. The nurse started taking more pictures and then she printed them out for me and later, took the babies measurements.

"Okay mama, your due date is November 16th. Do you have any questions for me?" the techs smile was contagious but I shook my head no and then it was over. She removed the wand and I went to the bathroom to clean off the gel as best I could before putting my clothes back on. I was more than glad it was over.

Holding the ultrasound picture of my baby still didn't make it feel real though. When I came out of the bathroom, Bay hugged me and King was jumping up and down wanting me to hold him. So I pulled him in my lap and sat down while we waited for the doctor again so he could tell me everything was fine with the baby. I wanted to go home and eat. Then I could think about how in the hell I was going to tell Kohle. But I still had work and that was the last place I wanted to be.