Natalie & King

Ch.28

Natalie

                                "Bay, I know you're sad. I'm sad too but you have to eat," when Bay didn't make an attempt to eat the baked pork chops, green beans and mashed potatoes, I sighed in defeat. "At least for the baby?" it was the only technique that I knew would work. Kohle broke not only her heart but he broke mine and King's too. Bay was eating less and less since Kohle wrote us letters last week. I cooked every night and made her breakfast but she barely finished one plate, two were out of the question. It was easy forgetting about my own emotions when I was busy taking care of Bay and King. I put all my energy into them and when they were asleep, my body was too exhausted to acknowledge my own broken heart, so I nodded off easily. Until I finally read Kohle's letter. If that wasn't enough to break my heart, when Bay handed me hers, I wasn't ready. My hands shook as I nervously opened the letter. His handwriting made my heart flutter. I didn't miss the nervous feeling he left in the bottom of my stomach. He wasn't even around and yet...he was here.

                                'Bay. I been thinkin bout what to say to u for a few days and all I keep comin back to is sorry. I'm sorry as fuck I let this happen to me. I know I let u down and I can't sleep knowin that. I'm lost as fuck without ya'll. I'm sorry I lied to u but I'm not sorry that I did what I did. I meant it when I told u I would do anything for u. We lost our baby and I think bout it every day. Would u have let it go? I couldn't. I love u Bay'Zell. I know you probably want me to stop callin but I miss hearin ya'lls voice. I feel alone as fuck in here. Feel like I'm goin crazy. I don't expect nothing from u, I know this is all my fault. But if I do get life, I hope u write me. I can't make it without ya'll....

        Kohle

                "Babe...come here," I whispered into her neck as I pulled her into my arms. As soon as my arms were wrapped around her, she broke down and let the tears fall freely. My heart ached. Eventually, tears started running down my face too and then they wouldn't stop. Bay's heart crumbled in my hands and she trusted me with the pieces.

                                "I'm just shocked...I don't know what we're supposed to do." Bay's voice was soft and slightly raspy from crying for almost an hour. I released her from my grip and pointed to the plate of food.

                                "You're supposed to eat,"

                                "Pft...you know what I mean, babe." Bay pouted but took the plate downstairs to put it in the microwave. I didn't know what we were supposed to do next. I didn't think Kohle would actually go to jail. When Bay came back upstairs, she had two forks and a faint smile.

                                "I didn't know you missed him." Bay said as she handed me a fork. The food was hot enough that steam rose from the top but that didn't stop Bay from digging in. I knew she was hungry.

                                "Now you know."

                                "I think...I think I love him, Natalie." Bay pointed out the obvious nervously. Tears formed in my eyes when I thought about Kohle's letter that I read probably over 10 times.

                                "Yeah, I know. Me too."

                                "Really?"

                I nodded my head and swallowed the tears back. Crying was the last thing I wanted to do again now that I finally got the waterworks to stop. Not having Kohle around showed me just how much I missed him. I never appreciated the little things he did and now that he was gone, I found myself wishing I could see him and King take the trash out one more time. Bay reached for my hand and rubbed it softly.