Natalie & King

Ch.16

Jealous. The word was foreign to me before I met Bay'Zell. With Daren, I never had a reason to get jealous. He let everyone know I was his. Everyone in our lives knew I belonged to him. As many women wanted him, he wanted me. He wanted me until he had me. When we met, I was 15. Too young to know what I had gotten myself into and too young to be with a man who was almost 30 years old. I was too young to know the women around me were envious even though they knew nothing about the abuse. Nobody knew he liked to choke the air out of my lungs like my neck was a stress ball. After a while, he stopped apologizing. When I worked up the courage one day to ask about another girl he was spending more time with, he accused me of being a jealous bitch and "beat it out of me". That was the last time I let myself get jealous.

But now here I was with more jealousy running thru my body that I knew what to do with. It was almost King's bedtime and Bay was still out with her friend, Nelly. I didn't know the girl, nor had I ever talked to her but still, I didn't like her. When Bay left work earlier than me, she was excited. As silly as it felt, I was jealous for more than one reason. I wanted to be with Bay instead of her friend that was the main reason. But Nelly being as pretty as she was sure didn't help anything. Even if Bay claimed not to like girls, she liked me and the baby growing in my stomach was proof enough that I was a female. Wat if she was attracted to Nelly too? What if she wanted to be with Nelly instead of me because she wasn't pregnant?

"Mommy are we moving to that house?" King's voice brought me out of my train of thought. He sat in the tub full of bubbles with his wet and freshly washed hair shrinking up above his shoulders. I nodded.

"Yes baby,"

"Me and you and Bay?" he put his hand under the water and retrieved his toy fire truck. He let the water drip before he drove it across the wall.

"And Kohle too."

"Are you his girlfriend?" he looked at me with a blank expression. As often as I heard how much he looked like me, I could still see bits of Daren. It broke my heart looking at him sometimes when his eyes shined with innocence. When Daren was alive, the first few weeks of King's life were perfect. He stopped hitting me and even let us sleep in the bed with him. I remember the way he used to obsess over my eyes. When King was born with the same eye color as me, he praised me and made me feel good. He made me feel like he loved me again. Like all the bad times were behind us and he was ready to be a good man and father. But I was wrong and looking at the sparkle of purity in King's eyes made my heart ache for the unknown. When Daren died...a big part of me died with him.

"Mommy are you his girlfriend?" King raised his voice to get my attention. Finally I snapped out of my daze and looked at his rosy red cheeks. Was the water too hot?

"Well, yes. I guess so." I finished bathing him and sat at the edge of the tub. His cheeks turned a darker shade of red right along with the back of his neck.

"Oh." He mumbled quietly. King ran his hand thru his messy curls and sighed.

"Unless you don't want him to be?"

"You can be his girlfriend but mommy..." his voice trailed off. I started getting nervous waiting for him to finish his sentence. When he paused for a moment longer, my stomach plummeted. Did he not like Kohle anymore? What did he do to my baby?

"Baby what's wrong? You're turning red everywhere,"

"Can Bay be my girlfriend?" King's eyes dazzled and the second he heard the front door open, I could feel his excitement. He wasn't looking down shyly anymore but fidgeting to get out of the tub. Now it made sense. The water wasn't too hot. King was blushing because he had a crush on Bay. My girlfriend. I smiled and covered my face to stop from laughing. When Bay poked her head in the bathroom and gave us both a heart stopping smile, King's blush intensified. It was so cute, I forgot I was even upset with her. Her hair was down her back and the yellow dress she wore made my skin tingle. I could see her belly poking out a little and so could King.