Holding On

Chapter 4

The day started out like any other. I woke up, got ready for school, then spent 6 1/2 hours of my life at hell and then came home.

Today was different though. Every day after school, Josiah would text me. But today, school had been out for about and hour and I hadn't heard from him.

I began to overthink the situation. He thinks I'm ugly. He probably thinks I'm fat. He probably saw my scars that one day I wore shorts. I should've been more careful! I turned him off. He hates me. He thinks I'm a freak. He could never like you. He hates me, he hates me, he hates me....

I was sweating like a pig. (Which made sense because I looked like one too.) I walked into the den where Jade was. She was on the computer while eating handfuls of popcorn at a time. Gosh, it smelled so good. Luke was sitting over on the love sack playing on his new iPhone 5s.

Jade motioned the bowl of popcorn my way.

DON'T EAT. YOU'RE SUCH A FAT PIG. NO WONDER JOSIAH DOESN'T LIKE YOU. HE THINKS YOU'RE HUGE. DON'T EAT. EVER.

I shook my head. "No thanks," I lied. "I'm full."

She shrugged as if saying 'Suit yourself.' She swallowed some popcorn then turned to me.

"Hey, where's Josiah? He's usually here right after school."

"I don't know." I answered. "He didn't text me after school today."

"Then why don't you text him?" Luke asked. He was sorta snobby about it.

I started to blush. Then my eyes watered. I had no idea why, but I ran out of the room almost in tears. I couldn't help but think that Josiah hated me and wanted nothing to do with me.

I went and practiced guitar to try and get my mind of things but it didn't help. All I wanted was to have a nice afternoon with him. But I couldn't complain. I had spent a whole week with him! I needed to grow up.

All of the sudden, my phone started to ring. Josiah was calling me? He never called! What was this all about?

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey! So listen, baseball went a little long and then I had to watch my little sister while my mom was out shopping but I'm coming over right now, okay? See you in 5!"

He hung up.

I couldn't help but smile. Josiah always put me in a good mood and just didn't feel as sad when I was around him.

5 minutes later he showed up.

"Hey Brie!" He said as he opened the door and gave me a hug.

"Hey." I blushed.

We went to the theatre room and decided we would watch Divergent. I loved the books and the movie was just as good. I couldn't help but wonder if he was starting to like me too. I didn't want to be shot down. I was too afraid of rejection.

We sat there in silence. And I tried my hardest not to stare at him and think about how beautiful he was.

I couldn't do it.