Dragged Down By Her past

Nowhere -Amelia's POV

Amelia's POV-

The small restroom behind the locked door gave me a slight bit of comfort. I was in there, safe from the outside, safe from everyone else. My mind instantly took me back to the time the doors were taken off the hinges and my basic right of privacy was taken from me. All of my rights were taken from me, I was a prisoner when I had done nothing wrong.

I threw up more as the memories clawed at my brain making me remember horrible incidents that I tried so hard to forget. I couldn't though, no matter how hard I tried to forget the unbearable sting of the memories, they always came back to me to taunt me. The small restroom might have kept me safe from the world, but it would never keep me safe from me. I wasn't safe from me or my past.

There would never be a way for me to pretend that I was okay, to make believe that I hadn't been chewed up, spit on, and torn apart. Everything that happened to me made me who I am. Everything that I had been through made me into the ghost of the person I was. Who was I kidding when I told myself I was happy? I was never going to be happy and I put Loren, Blake, Chase, and anyone else I had come into contact with in the past two years in harm's way for an unobtainable dream. My life was a wreck and my life would forever be a nightmare. I was a prisoner even when I was free. I'd never escape him or the things he did to me.

I sat down on the floor in front of toilet and let myself cry. I was getting better, or so I thought. I hadn't had dreams that bad in months, but seeing him must've really fucked with my head. I knew that I was probably going to regress so far backwards after our run in; it would probably be like I had never even gotten any better.

That was assuming that I could figure out a way out of the mess I was in. I knew that he wouldn't give up trying to find me... ever. I had to leave, but I wasn't even sure if that would be good enough. No amount of land or water would be too far for Marcus to travel, especially to find me. I knew that he would do whatever it took to have me back. I didn't want to go back.

Not to mention, I had Loren to think of now. I knew he wasn't above using her to get to me. He was a sick psycho, like that. He knew I cared for her so she was fair game to him. She wasn't a person to him, she was a pawn in the sick game that he wanted to play with me. I wouldn't let him do that to her. I couldn't let her face the same things that I had faced.

There was a knock on the door and I sighed. Loren was so worried about me, she knew that the night terrors were going to get bad again. I had them pretty much every night, but they had been getting less intense over time... Good bye to that.

"I told you Loren, Go back to bed." I said with tears lacing my voice. Usually she listened to me.

"It's not Loren." I heard Blake's voice hesitate. Holy shit, I woke up the whole place, didn't I? I am such a fool for even agreeing to stay with them. I should have known that I wouldn't have been able to keep my cool and not have a night terror. I couldn't do that most of the time, much less on an already traumatic night.

"I'm fine, Blake, go back to bed." I said trying to sound strong. I felt like a little mouse, not strong. I wasn't strong, not anymore, that monster broke me.

"There's a pack of a few unopened tooth brushes under the sink." He said ignoring me.

I suddenly felt like crying at his niceness. He saved me from Marcus, he helped get me out without getting caught, he gave me a place to sleep, and he was helping me when I woke him up in the middle of the night. The guy was too nice. I wasn't used to that kind of thing; I was used to horrible people who made you wish you were dead.