A Nobody's Notebook

"Boom, Butterfly Effect."

I sit at my desk in my small apartment. Frustrated, I stand up, throwing papers on the floor. "I've got to be missing something!" I yell. One piece of paper catches my eye. I bend down to pick it up. I bring the paper close to me. Smiling a sad smile, I look at the photograph of me with Beth, Hannah, and Josh. My eyes land on Josh. Ever since the event that took place last year, he hasn't been the same. He's hurting. My mind wanders back to the psychotic break he had when the police eventually stopped looking for the twins. I think that's what drove him over the edge. No one is listening to me. They all insist he's fine, but he's not fine. My eyes go back to the twins. They have their arms wrapped around me, with Josh's arms wrapped around them. "I'm going to find out what happened to you, I promise," I softly say. My phone beeps. I remove it from my back pocket. It's a video message from Josh. I hit play.

"Well, hello, friends and fans," He shakes his head. "Alright. Let's do that again," he adjusts the camera. "Alright. Well, hello, friends and fans. It's beyond awesome to have you guys all back this year. First off, I'm super excited to welcome all of my pals back to annual Blackwood Winter Getaway!" I pick up the papers I threw and set them on top of my Psychology textbook. "So, um... Let me just let you know, let's take a moment to address the elephant in the room for a second..." I sit in the small chair at my desk, "I know you're all probably worried about me and I know it's going to be tough on all of us going back after what happened last year... but- I just want you all to know, uhm, it means... It means so much to me to me that we're doing this. And I... I know it would mean so much to Hannah and Beth that we're all still here together, you know, thinking of them. I really wanna spend some quality time with each and everyone of you and, uhm, just share some moments we'll never forget, for the sake of my sisters, you know? Okay!... So... Let's party like we're fucking porn stars, okay?! Make this one trip we'll never forget, alright?! Yes!" the video stops.

I stare at Josh on the screen. "Josh..." I softly say. He needs us. I pull my glasses off, my vision instantly becoming nothing but colorful blurs. I prop my head in my hands on the dark colored desk. I feel a tear run down my cheek. "Goddamnit," I say, sniffling. I sit up straight and wipe the tear from my face. I push my glasses back on as I stand up. I slide my phone back into my pocket and I begin packing for the trip out tomorrow.

I catch the very first bus up the mountain. Once I step off the steps, my snow boots crunch the icy blanket. The bus hisses as it's doors close and pull away. I walk up to the gateway. BLACKWOOD PINES I look up at the sign. I walk up to the gate. With a heavy sigh, I look out at the mountain. I kiss my fingertips and place them on the post of the gate. With a creak, I open the gate and walk in. I begin my commute up the long path. When I reach the iron gate, I try to push it open. It rattles in protest. I roll my eyes and tilt my head back. I safely climb over the brick wall adjacent to the gate. Once I begin walking to the cable car station, I hear a noise. Out of reflex, my hand grabs the cold metal in my waistband. There's another noise from my other side. I pull out the metal device and aim it, scanning the tree line. A small elk walks out in front of me. I sigh and slide the gun back into my waistband. "Hey, big guy," I softly say. I reach up and pet him. He blows air at me in response. I laugh softly and begin back on my path. I finally reach the station. I sit on the bench. I stay there for about 10 minutes, not wanting to go up by myself. Finally, I sigh, standing up. I grab my bags and walk over to the door. I try the knob, but it's locked. "Great," I say. I decide to walk around the back of the station. Maybe there's a back door or something. "Oh, hello," I say when I see the shooting range. I walk up and grab the .22 hunting rifle of the rack. I admire the polish on it before setting it down on the table, deciding not to shoot. I sit on the bench behind me. I cross my legs and pull them close. My phone starts buzzing in my pocket. Thankfully, there's one cell tower down here. I pull it out and answer the call. "Hello?"