Yuhn Hota Toh Kya Hota- Rikara FF

Chapter 164

Gauri looked at herself in the mirror. 

She spent a restless night yesterday, tossing and turning in her sleep. Her eyes were slightly puffed from all the crying. She tried smiling into the mirror; it looked forced and false. She slapped her face with some water, and tried smiling again. It still looked forced, but a little less false. She wondered why was she so sad and frustrated? 

She should be happy. She had found her sister, her mother was well, she had found a brother in Dandi bhaiyaa, a caring family in the Oberois, she was educating herself, she was learning new skills, she was actually working on making a proper career instead of just running her shop for living. She had achieved what she hadn't even dreamt of. 

She had thought her entire life would be spent running her shop, looking after her mother, and spreading joy among those kids. She had always hoped and prayed that she would be united with her sister, but knowing the chances of that being close to zero, she had satisfied herself praying for her sister's wellbeing and health. 

Shankarji has been merciful, and every wish of hers had materialized, even things she had not hoped or wished for. Life had changed for the better, and had taken a high upswing. 

And yet, barring her reunion with her sister, every joy was hollow. 

Every joy was hollow, because the one man Gauri was tied to beyond her control, against her will, did not give her straight answers. 

Never had Gauri felt more helpless and vulnerable in life, but that's what meeting him had done to her. Where was the joy she spread everywhere? The girl in the mirror looked in need of cheering up. 

Kaha jaake dil lagaa liya humne? Na milne ka sukoon, na judaai ka dard (Where did I attach my heart? Neither there is the peace of receiving, nor the pain of separation). 

This situation of being stuck in-between was worse than anything, because she felt so dishaheen (directionless). 

What should she do? Gauri always prided herself in being dabanng (brave), but she was scared of revealing her feelings to him, afraid of what would be his response. 

Thats why she reacted like that yesterday night, throwing him out of her room, because she couldn't take it anymore, his care for her, but without words. For a poet, he was remarkably speechless whenever she asked him anything, so much so that she had given up on asking. And then, she was afraid of what he might answer. 

Gauri took a bath, changed and stepped out of her bathroom. She collected all the presents Omkaraji had given her: the textbook he gifted Chulbul, her adoptive mother's portrait, those blue and white bangles, the idol of her Shankarji, and finally the sketch of her biological mother holding her in her arms, born out of his imagination. She was not even going to think of the innumerable other things he had done for her, from saving her life in Bareilly to taking care of her when she donated blood to Annika Jiji, to several other things. 

Her behavior in light of all that was unpardonably rude. He must have felt astonished and hurt. None of this was his fault, it was she who could not retrain her emotions. He never wanted her to get attached to him. She must pay for her mistake, he is not responsible for that. 

Gauri sighed. She must apologize to him today when she sees him. She took her bag and went out to work.

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"The service would be fine, Shivaay, don't worry" said Annika, as she sat down to breakfast.

"Yes, Shivaay puttar, everything will be fine. I know you are thinking of that fiasco last year with that Ashok dying at the Ganesh pooja aarti, but nothing like that is going to happen. Don't worry, puttar" said Dadi.