Between the Lines

IKATATLO

Pagkatapos ko lumabas sa kitchen, ay dumiretso na ako sa kwarto ko. The moment I opened the door and get inside my room as I opened the lights, I was stunned upon seeing my mother's face. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, like she was waiting for me to get inside the room.

"M—Mom" my voice cracked as I slowly walk towards her and notice how my painting materials are scattered on the floor "What happened here? Ba—Bakit nasa floor po yung painting materials ko po?"

"I want you to throw it away" madiin na utos niya.

"B—But"

"I want you to throw it away, Alexandra!" this time her voice was raising pero kahit anong sigaw niya dito I'm sure hindi madidinig ng mga tao sa labas nor sa baba ang sigaw niya becaue my room is sound proof.

Kasi before when I was young, I really love playing the piano na kahit disoras na ng gabi ay ginagamit ko pa rin ito that's why they decided na ipasound proof ang kwarto ko.

I hastily pick the things that was scattered on the floor before throwing it on the trash bin. Pati mga paintings ko, nakakagawa ko lang at yung paintings na ginawa ko noon ay pinunit niya kaya kahit masakit, kahit na gusto ko umiyak ay hindi ko nagawa kasi for sure sampal nanaman ang aabutin ko sa kanya. I just bit the bottom of my lips as I throw everything away before standing in front of her and look at her "Tapos na po, mom"

"Ano, Alexandra, galit ka?"

I shake my head "Then stop looking at me like you wanted to kill me"

"M—Mom hindi sa ganun –"

"Shut up"

I bit the bottom of my lips again "I just want to know why the hell did you turn your phone off? Bakit dahil ayaw mong pigilan kitang gumala? Bakit porket top one ka na ngayon nagmamalaki ka na?" she said as she keep on pointing me.

I shook my head "N---No Mom"

"No? Then why did you off your god damn phone, Alexandria?!"

"I..I... I just wanted to breathe"

Mommy chuckled "You what?"

I bow down my head "I..I wanted to breathe"

Napatayo siya, her face was grim before I bow my head down and I'm sure it's grimier now "You wanted to breathe? Bakit hindi ka ba nakakahinga sa mga pinapagawa ko sa'yo? That's why you wanted to breathe?"

"Mom, hindi sa ganun --"

Napahawak na lang ako sa kamay ko nang maramdaman ang malutong na sampal mula kay Mommy as she cupped my chin.

"Have you forgotten what I told you? Na dapat mong sabihin lahat ng kilos mo sa akin na kahit paghinga mo ibabalita mo sa akin?! Ha? Alex? Nakalimutan mo na ba yun"

I shake my head as I respinse since I can't say anything.

She pushed me hard as she ket go of my chin dahilan para matumba ako.

"The next time you do this, alam mo na kung anong mangyayari sa'yo" Mommy angrily said and I just nod as a response as I heard the door close.

I just bit the bottom of my lips as hard as I could to stop myself from crying. 

Lea

I was in the pool area after the awkward dinner with Kuya Anton's family.

Alexandria

I just smiled as I remember the girl who sit beside me, she was just a baby when I left and the last time, I saw her was when she was four years old that's why I'm not wondering why she doesn't know me.

Technically, I don't want her to know me.

"Wine?"

Napalingon ako para tignan kung sino ang nagsalita and I saw my brother holding a bottle of wine and two wine glass.

"Thanks Aya" I said as I get the glass of wine he offwred.

"Are you thinking of what happened a while ago?"

I shook my head "I was thinking about something but since we're on that topic, I want to asks you if does Alexis always reprimand Alexandria that way?"

"I'm sorry if you have to witness that rare side of Alexis, but I promise you she just wants to mold Alexandria to be the best"

I sighed "I know that Kuya, you don't have to tell me or explain to me that. I can see Ate Alexis is doing a great job raising Alexandria and who I am to intervene Ate Alexis way of raising her? When I can't be a mother to her in the first place" I bitterly said as I drink the glass of wine that was handed to me by my brother.

"Lei..."

I just gave Kuya Anton a smile "I better go back to my room Kuya, I have a long day commitment for tomorrow"

"Sure, but before you could go, how many days are you staying here?"

"Probably a month or two, it depends on my schedule, why?"

"Alexis and I have to go back in New York the next day, can you take care of Alexandria while were gone?"

I sighed again since because I knew what Kuya Anton is plotting on his mind.

"I'm sorry Kuya, I would be probably busy since I also have a rehearsal for my concerts so I would be staying on my condo muna"

I saw how his hopeful looks change into disappointment and he gave me a small smile "Alright. I knew you would say that mabuti na lang at hindi ko pa talaga nasasabi sa kanya tungkol dito" he said "If I did, madidisappoint nanaman siya" he added "She looks like she wants to spend her time with you, you know"

Tinignan ko siya at ngumiti ng matipid "Alam mo yung stand ko diyan, Aya"

"I know, kaya kahit gusto ko hindi ko ipagpipilitan Lei" sambit ni Kuya Anthony sa akin "Go rest now, Lei" he added "You better have an enough rest to start the day"

"I will" I said as I kissed Kuya Anton's cheek "You better go upstairs after drinking a glass of that, okay?"

He just nods as a response.

Papunta na sana ako sa kwarto ko when I heard a sound of a beautiful piece that was played on piano so instead of going to my room, I followed were the sound is coming from and gladly it was just a few meters from my room.

The door was ajar that's why I managed to peek and then I couldn't help but smile as I saw the talented young lady who was playing the piano.

It was no other than, Alexandria, the daugter I have given up.

The daughter that was never mine from the start.

I just smile sadly as the joyful melody to a sad one, Yiruma's Kiss In The Rain was playing while Alexandria's eyes were closed as if she was captivated with the music.

I, who was standing in front of the door and peeking couldn't help but smile and couldn't help but look at her proudly and sadly.

I already knew from the way she talks; she is smart. She is beautiful and now she's musically inclined too and I couldn't help but be proud of the girl she become.

I even wanted to shout how proud I am but what can I do? If she'll know about the truth, she'll be hurt. She'll despise me.

Regrets...

Pain...

That was what I am feeling right now but I don't have a choice but to overcome it because whatever I can or will do can't change or undo the past that I gave up my eldest daughter just to achieve her dreams.

I gave up my baby, my mini me, I gave up on Alexandria, the daughter that I didn't want but I love.

To Be Continued...