A Flower in the Wind

The Stinging

sitting in the bathtub

shower streaming down to sting my already aching skin

I stare up at the water

unable to look down on my own naked body

it reminds me too much of him

the boy that took me away from myself

I remember when I was first alone

completely alone

without him

I turned my mirrors around

closed the blinds

and got ready in the dark

But I can't think anymore

it stings

**************************************

I told you.

That everyone leaves.

That that's okay and just a part of life.

But you wouldn't listen.

You promised you'd stay, over and over.

And I believed you!

And that's when you decided it was time to leave.

**************************************

You twist me and my thoughts

around your slender finger

telling me what I do and don't remember

you tell me which of my feelings are real

and now I don't believe a thing you say

and you have the fucking nerve

to act surprised?!

**************************************

Death is the only everlasting thing in this world

~Don't you want to know how it feels?

**************************************

If beauty is pain,

I must be Aphrodite

**************************************

Can you imagine

how I felt

when I had to watch you flirt with, kiss, and touch some other girl

on stage

and flirt, kiss, and touch another girl off stage?

*******************************
There are days

When I'm with you

That feel like our own little heaven

But there's always a tomorrow

Where our heaven ends.

*******************************************

Long after he left, I felt phantom hands

Phantom fingers rough and unwelcomed

A grip too tight on my hip

The aftermath

No one believed me...

I lost what little I had left

It was a good boy's word against a whore's

Of course, they believed him

Maybe I misunderstood

Maybe I got it all wrong

God, what did he do to me...