flower petals

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"oh- o-oh my god." i gasped out, not believing what stan said. "let me i-in." stan opened the door, revealing him on his knees and blood dripping from the corner of his mouth.

i slipped in the room and shut the door, glancing into the toliet bowl where he said he puked flowers.

he didn't lie. they were there. it looked like a rose, (well, it was combined with a mixture of puke that he threw up from drinking too much) a bright red one.

stan hiccuped. i didn't know what to say. everything was silent in there. you could hear the chatter from outside the bathroom door, but neither of us had anything to say. i flushed the toliet for him, the flowers just reflected his fate along with mine.

of course, i had to cough some up too. some petals fell between my fingers. "you gots flowers t-too?!" stan exclaimed. "what does it m-mean?!"

i threw away the flowers i grasped in my hands. "stan, it's a disease. d-don't you remember that presentation from pc principal?"

stan gave me the most confused look ever. "disease?"

"stan, who do you like?" i asked him, my heart aching, already knowing it wasn't me. of course it wasn't me. i have it. he doesn't love me. he loves someone else, and they don't love him either. can't you fucking see stan? i'm right here. everything you'd need is right here in front of you. i'd love you. i'd treat you right.

"i-i'd rather not tell." he blushed the slightest bit, looking down at the floor he sat on. i crouched down to him.

"okay, on the count of three, we'll say who we like at the same time, okay?" i'm not going to tell you. i can't go through that shame.

"don't make f-fun of me."

"i won't."

the ugly truth was coming. something i didn't wanna face. it's going to be clear now. he doesn't love me. he doesn't love me. he doesn't love me.

"okay, ready?"

"3..."

stan twiddled his fingers.

"2..."

my heart was in my throat.

"1..."

i closed my eyes and clasped my mouth shut.

"..."

"cartman."

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