INSANE

~Hi, I'm Fucking...~

**Trigger Warning: Self-harm is in this chapter.**

~Hi, I'm Fucking Adam Rodriguez~

This is what hell feels like. I didn't know when I started it but I did. The burnt flesh was slowly reaching my dazed and confused figure. It smelt like rotting food when you left it in your icebox too long and forgot to throw it out. Actually, that's what I was. Rotting food. Only they didn't forget to throw me away like the piece of trash I was.

What happens next was kind of blurry to me and only a distant memory now like old hit cartoons that used to come on in the 90's.

"...What the fuck?! Oh my god! Adam?! Get the fuck away from the stove now!"

"...No!"

"Fucking shit!" Liam screamed and bum rushed me and tackled me to the ground. Dragging me away from the hot stove tops where I was burning my arm. I couldn't fucking light myself on fire because I'm immune from my own power but not electrical heat.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Liam roared.

"There is no fucking pills in this house! How else am I supposed to kill myself!" We were on the ground wrestling and Liam tried to keep me far as possible away from the kitchen. I knocked him hard in the face where his lip busted and began bleeding.

"Shit! Adam stop! I'm not letting you do this to yourself!"

"Why not?! Everyone I've ever loved has left me! I had an uncle this entire time and he doesn't even want me because I'm a disgusting alter! No one has ever want me! Why should I?!" I stop struggling after I say that last part finally getting the thing I most dreaded to say out loud about myself. That I was not wanted not even by myself. I began to cry and Liam just held me while I got everything out. I didn't even care that I was crying in his presence. Men weren't supposed to cry my father used to tell me.

But I questioned it a lot when I was alone in foster care homes and group homes when I cried by myself. If I was a man, than why did I cry a lot? It was just a lot masculinity bullshit.

****

The tiredness that I felt was so surreal. I felt like I was coming up under from a coma. I haven't slept that well in years, where I had sand still in my eyes when you woke up. I felt a warm body next to me on the side of my bed. I turned and saw baby blue eyes staring right back at me. 

"What are you doing in here?" I asked my voice still kind of raspy from all the crying I did last night which made me feel ashamed.

"Don't" Liam growled. I nodded knowing he was referring to my shame. He saw it in my eyes. He saw right through me. I shivered as I looked back at him and his hard eyes melted back to his usual freaky eyes that I was used to now.

"I don't ever want you to do that again." Liam rumbled and I nodded knowing I couldn't deny him. I don't know what it was maybe me crying in his arms last night did it but something shifted in our relationship that now I knew he wasn't playing around.