The Outsiders: A Girl in the Gang

Chapter 16

        "What about you?" I asked, my mind reeling as I remembered our run in with Two-Bit on Friday.  My stomach was churning nervously and my heart was pounding frantically.  How in the world did he expect me to answer that question, cause what I really wanted to do was run away again.

        "Tara, I've had a crush on you since the first day I saw you," he admitted, sounding desperate to convince me.

        Wait, what?!  Since the first day he saw me?  That would have been like a little less than a month. I first suspected he liked me just four days ago, and he was saying he had a crush on me for a month?!  This couldn't be happening.

        "No," I said sternly, shaking my head.  "Dally'll kill me.  Dally'll kill you.  Darry'll kill you, too," I said, realizing that I actually did have feelings for him.  He was nice, and fun to spend time with, and actually pretty cute......I'm not letting my thoughts go there.  I saw the hopeful look on his face fall, his greeny-gray eyes filled with disappointment.

        "But-" he started to say, stopping as I turned around and started walking away from him, away from home, away from the feelings twisting my gut and the butterflies rising into my throat, spreading flames over my cheeks.

        "Wait!" Ponyboy called after me, grabbing my shoulder and turning me to face him.

        Before I could slap his hand off or yell at him or run away, he kissed me.  On the cheek, but he still kissed me.  I was in shock.  I didn't move, I didn't say anything, I didn't give a smart-ass remark, I just stared at him.

        "I like you Tara.  A lot, I really do.  I don't care what Dally says, you're right.  He does try to control your life, and it's time you do something about it," he said sincerely, but at the mention of Dally I forgot all about the kiss and the shock and I blew up at him.

        "It's time I do something about it?  I do Pony, all the time.  I didn't listen when he said I couldn't talk to you, and I actually beat up my brother when he slapped you for no reason.  It doesn't matter what I do Pony, he hates you.  It'd never work anyways," I replied bitterly, and then kicked myself for not saying that I wasn't sure I felt as strongly about him as he did me in the first place.

        "I wouldn't say that Dally hates me, but he doesn't like me all that much.  He doesn't trust me with you, but I can prove it to him.  Please, Tara.  Give it a chance," Pony pleaded.

        For some reason I suddenly felt tears threatening to fall.  I wasn't sad, but maybe they were tears of anger or confusion.  I couldn't take this anymore, I took a deep breath and forced the tears back, Tara Winston didn't cry.

        "I'm sorry Pony.  Not right now," I replied, turning to walk away again.  I stopped and turned back, guilt boiling over in my gut.  I felt horrible, I couldn't imagine what Pony felt like.  I took a deep breath and, deciding to take a risk and maybe make him feel a little better, I gave him a hug.  I wrapped my arms around his shoulders for a brief second before letting go and walking away quickly, scared I would change my mind.

        I didn't look back, and I don't think he did either.

        The one thought that kept running through my mind like a broken record was that I had never hugged anyone before, not even Dally when I was little.  So maybe I really did like Ponyboy Curtis.  And maybe when I went home and Dally found out, he would kill me.  And then maybe I wouldn't have to deal with facing Pony again and telling him that.