The Outsiders: A Girl in the Gang

Chapter 19

Note to Readers: I don't know if you'll be sad or happy when I tell you this, but this is the second to last chapter in this story. Only one more after this before it's over!  Please comment and tell me what you think. :)

        I woke the next morning to Dally yelling up the stairs, "Are you up yet or am I going to the Curtis's without you?"

        I was going to say he could go without me, but then I remembered the conversation I'd had with Johnny yesterday.  I sat up in bed and called, "Give me a few minutes.  I can't travel at light speed," before dragging my lazy butt out of bed and getting dressed.

        Jeans and a gray T-shirt, and I remembered to grab my blade before heading downstairs where Dally was impatiently waiting at the front door.  I pulled on my Converses and grabbed my jean jacket and we were out the door, heading down the street that was beginning to bustle with early morning activity.

        On the way, we ran into Two-Bit.

        "Fancy seein' you two here," he remarked with a smirk.

        "The only thing fancy is that you're lucky I don't smack you," I retorted.

        Dally gave me a look and then said, "It'd be better if you didn't smack anyone anytime soon," which meant I'd better watch it before he grounded me again, cause I still don't think he forgave me for attacking him on Monday.

        We hadn't really talked much since then, though it's not like we talked all that much in the first place.  Two-Bit got what he meant, he had witnessed our mini-rumble the other day, and wisely changed the subject.

        We walked into the Curtis house amid the usual chaos, Darry was sitting in the armchair reading the newspaper and yelling at Soda and Steve to quit wrestling over the last piece of cake before they broke something.  Johnny was getting mad at Two-Bit for messing up his hair, and Ponyboy was sitting quietly in the corner, reading a book.

        I got this weird giddy, slightly guilty squirmy feeling in my stomach when I saw him, and it immediately made me uncomfortable.  I wanted to run out the door when he looked up, catching my gaze with his greeny-gray eyes, but I made myself stay put.

        Dally flopped on the couch next to Johnny.  I was about to take a seat on the floor, seeing as how there were no open seats on the furniture unless I wanted to squish myself between my brother and Johnny, and the floor was just as comfortable, when Pony came over by me.

        "Can I talk to you?" he asks me, keeping his voice low.

        Immediately my stomach started doing flips, and I wanted to tell him no or some other, better, sarcastic answer, but my stomach jumped into my throat and I couldn't speak.  I caught Johnny watching us, or more so me, with an intent 'Go!' expression on his face.  My guts were still lodged in my throat, so I nodded and pushed past him on my way outside. I didn't really need Dally listening in on our conversation, seeing as how he knew nothing of what had actually happened when I had been 'out' on Monday night.

        I hopped up on the railing of the porch, one knee pulled up to my chest, as I leaned against one of the support posts and the other foot hooked around one of the bars.  Pony leaned on the railing a little ways away from me, staring out at the street.  He had said he wanted to talk to me, and now he wasn't saying anything.  This was sure going to be an interesting conversation.

        I was determined to not say anything first, because I really didn't know how to tell him that I liked him and I'd take a chance going out with him without sounding like a lying idiot after our conversation on Monday.  I would rather just not say it, but I had promised myself I would because of Johnny.  But I still wasn't going to speak first.

        Pony turned to me, opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and opened it again.

        "Are-Did you-" he started to say but then stopped.  He took a deep breath and then blurted out, "Did you not want to go out with me cause you like someone else?"

        "Um, no?" I said, confused, so it came out as a question rather than a statement.

        I had never really liked anyone, except for Ponyboy, and that was just recently.  I suppose I could see how he could think that, though.  Everyone in the gang was fairly attractive, I'm pretty sure they'd all had at least one girlfriend, except for maybe Johnny, and Ponyboy of course.

        Sensing that I had asked a question instead of answering his, Pony asked me, sounding almost sad, "So that's a yes?"  Before I could tell him no, he said, "It's Johnny, isn't it.  You like him," and his tone was remorseful.

        Before I could stop myself or even think what I was saying, I shouted, "What? No!  Why would you think that?  He only wanted to talk to me yesterday cause he was worried about you cause you were mopey all week.  He knew it had something to do with me and he hates seeing you all miserable and he knows you like me."

        I finally stopped to take a breath, realizing how much of an idiot I must have sounded like, rambling on and on like that.

        It took him a second to process what I had just said, and then he asked, with a hint of hope in his voice, "So you don't like Johnny?  Or anyone else?"

        "No," I said sincerely, shaking my head to accentuate the statement.  I took another deep breath and told myself to grow up and say it before forcing the words out of my mouth.  "I like you, Ponyboy.  I have for......" I took a shuddering breath, I can't believe I was saying this, "For a while now, actually," I said, looking at him, not sure what his reaction would be.

        "Really?" he asked, a smile creeping across his face though he seemed unsure if he should believe me or not.

        I nodded, staring down at my denim-clad knee.  I don't know why I was having a hard time looking at him now.

        "I'm sorry," I mumbled into my jeans, unable to believe that those two words were coming out of my mouth.  I never apologized for anything, ever, but I was now.

        I just hoped he would know what I was apologizing for, but he seemed to understand, cause he said, "I forgive you."  He paused. "Tara, now will you give me a chance?  Please?" he asked.

        I glanced up at him, and I couldn't stop the smile spreading across my face.  "Yeah."