Summertime ~ Frerard

I'm not letting you go ~ 17

Song(s): kill somebody, yungblud
beside you, 5 seconds of summer

Frank's pov

I take a sip from the now cold cup of tea I had made myself earlier.

Everything feels so numb.

I know that it's late, very late, but I can't seem to care.

Is this what heartbreak feels like?

It shouldn't hurt this much. Should it?

I quietly empty the cup, setting it on my nightstand, amongst countless other.

I start playing with the hem of Gerard's shirt. I haven't taken it off yet.

It's been a couple of days, I think. After staring at my ceiling for hours on end I lost count.

I slide down, so I can lay on my bed, and stare at my ceiling again, looking at the fluorescent stars still stuck there from my childhood, their sickly green glow painting the wall yellow.

I sigh for what feels like the hundreth time since the fight with my dad.

That night he came back home drunk at six in the morning, and mom yelled at him again.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault that they're fighting and yelling, that dad came home drunk, that Gerard has probably cried himself to sleep that night and maybe even did something worse to himself.

I stop myself right there, before I can elaborate the thought further.

He wouldn't do that, right?

I hold one of my pillows close, trying to shake off the awful feeling that has taken over me.

All I can see is Gerard staring at me after showing me his scars.

I miss him. I really do.

~~~

I look at myself in the mirror of my bathroom.

I look like shit.

My hair is greasy and my eyes are still red from crying myself to sleep again last night.

It's all my fault.

It's my fault that I'm sad, that Gerard is sad, that my own fucking father hates me.

It's all my fault. I shouldn't have kissed him that day.

I hear some screaming coming from downstairs, and the front door slams shut.

I sigh, as I think of a way to make all of this stop.

I splash cold water on my face, trying to wake myself up, but it doesn't seem to work.

I walk back into my room, and throw myself onto my bed, curling up into Gerard's shirt, just like I've been doing for the past days.

There's a knock at my door, and I hear the sound of my door unlocking.

"What do you want mom?" I ask bitterly, my face buried in one of my pillows.

"I brought you breakfast" she sighs "Also, your father went out again. He said that he will be coming home late tonight, so you can go out if you want" she adds, and suddently life doesn't seem so dull anymore.

"Really?" I ask, lifting my head from my pillow.

"As long as you get home before dinner" she says, and I nod.

"Thank you mama" I say, and she smiles at me, wordlessly leaving the room.

~~~

I walk nervously down the street, playing with the hem of my shirt.

What if he forgot about me? I mean, it's not hard to do.

I shake off the thought as Gerard's house comes in sight.

I walk up to the front door, and I ring the doorbell, waiting for someone to let me in.

"Frank, what the fuck?" Mikey asks, as he opens the door.

"Well-" I try to say, but he cuts me off.

"Go, you don't need to explain yourself. I've seen the message. He's in his room" he says, as I step into the house.

I quickly walk upstairs, and go up to his door.

I slam the door open, and I see Gerard, curled up in a lump under a blanket on his bed.

"Fuck off Mikey" he groans, and I smile at that.

His head pokes from under the covers, and he looks at me.

He smiles widely as I walk up to his bed.

"I fucking missed you" I say, as I throw myself on top of him.

"I fucking missed you too. I'm not letting you go" he says, hugging me close to his chest, my face in the crook of his neck.

I kiss my way up his neck and jaw, finally reaching his lips.

We kiss softly, his hands tangling themselves in my hair, my hands holding his hips.

He tastes like an odd mix of cigarettes and cherry chapstick.

"I'm not letting you go either" I whisper against his slightly parted lips, and he starts kissing me again in response.

"This is cute and all, you know, but if you have to make out at least close the goddamn door" Mikey, I assume, chimes in, and Gerard flips him off, without disconnecting our lips.

I can just feel him roll his eyes.

Mikey slams the door shut, and Gerard finally ends our kiss, so we can catch our breath.

"You smell like cigarettes" I say, laying my head on his chest.

"I mean, smoking and thinking about you is all I've been doing for the past week, so"

"It's been a week?" I ask, looking up at him

"Yeah?" He replies, but it comes out like an answer instead of a statement

"Holy shit" I say, and he looks at me weirdly "I don't have a clock in my room and my sleep schedule is worse than before. And I just lost count of the meals my mom brought me, I guess"

He frowns, before adding "and how did your dad react?"

"Well, he started yelling at me, he called you a monster and a sinner, he says that he's doing this to protect me and all that bullshit" I reply, sadness washing over me

He starts to rub my back soothingly, he knows how upset this makes me.

"What did the guys say?" I ask, sighing

"Emerson cried, and everyone came over to comfort me, and one night Mikey, Pete, Remington and Awsten tried to sneak out to go sneak you out, but mom caught them. They didn't get punished though" He explains, and I nod.

"Do they care that much about me?" I ask, and he nods

"They really do. I do too. You're so special to me" he says, and I smile at him

I lean in and kiss him for the second time today.

~~~

A/n I WANTED THE DRAMA BUT I GUESS NOT. Also, i'm updating today and not tomorrow because i have a competition tomorrow, and yeah.

Also, idk if i'm going to update next week, mostly because i need a break from this fic specifically to let my ideas on the plot develop, but don't worry, i will still be active and writing, just on the valentine's day one shot

(Everything is unedited)