Just Survive Somehow

Chapter 18 - Harder Days

"Ahren will you see if he has any ID?" I say as I sit on the bench with my hands against my forehead.

Ahren nods as he gets up from his spot next to me.

I stare at the ground by my feet. Blood drips off my hands and splatters on the floor. I watch the red liquid drip.

"Michael Jones." Ahren says quietly.

I look up, taking my eyes off the blood on the ground in front of me.

Ahren's holding a wallet open. His eyes are focused on one of the cards in the wallet.

"What is it?" I say quietly, questioning the look on his face.

"Nothing." He closes the wallet and puts it back into Michael's pocket without another word.

I look across from me to see Jasper holding Allie close to him.

A tear slides down Allie's cheek.

"Sasha,"

I shake my head. "I could have done more."

Ahren looks me in the eye and shakes his head. "You did everything you could."

"But it wasn't enough." I mutter, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Sometimes it never will be."

"I just need to be alone." I tell Ahren as I get up, trying to brush past him.

Ahren grabs my arm. "I don't think that's a good idea."

I turn back at him. "What?"

"I don't want you to go drown yourself in a bottle of Jack over this." He whispers.

"I'm fine." I growl at him, wrenching my arm away from him.

"Are you really though?" He raises his voice so everyone around us can hear him.

Jasper left Allie's side to get between Ahren and I.

"Dude, back off." He says, putting his hand on Ahren's chest.

"No offense Jasper, but I don't think this is any of your business."

"It's not my business, but you don't need to shove her around either."

"Back off or somebody will get shoved around." Ahren says, glaring at Jasper who stands between us.

"I'm not trying to fight with you." Jasper tells him.

"Ahren, stop it." I say from behind Jasper.

It was my fault we were here in the first place, Jasper shouldn't have to take the heat for me.

Ahren just glares at us before walking away. I watch as Allie follows him off.

Jasper turns to face me. "Are you okay?"

I nod slowly. I was okay, I just wanted to be alone but being with Jasper felt good too.

"I'm fine, really."

Jasper nods. "Do you want me to go?"

I shake my head, a tear falling down my cheek as I see a glimpse of Michael's body behind Jasper.

Jasper pulls me into a hug. He doesn't say anything, he just holds me as I let a few tears fall. My heads falls onto his shoulder as I close my eyes, trying to escape the sight of Michael's body.

* * *

"Ahren and I️ took Michael's body above ground." Jasper tells me as he slides down the wall to sit beside me.

"What'd you do with him?"

"We dropped him in the river."

I didn't say anything.

Jasper pulls from his pocket, a gold flask with the letter J inscribed on the front. He takes a swig before offering it to me.

"It's whiskey."

I grab the flask and take a drink. Jasper takes it back and takes another swig.

"I keep it for the extra hard days." Jasper explains as he hands the flask to me again.

"I drink just to fall asleep most nights." I tell him before taking a sip from the flask.

The alcohol's effects start to kick in and I feel myself starting to care less.

"There are things that happened before you and Allie... before we even got to that cabin." I start to say to Jasper.

He grabs the flask, drinking down more of the whiskey as I start telling him my story. 

I take the flask back, downing a large gulp of whiskey. It's gonna take a lot of alcohol to get me through this.

"Before all this, I lived in an apartment with Cat and Ahri. Cat had been dating Ahren for months. When the outbreak happened, the four of us traveled up to Vancouver, where Ahren had a cousin. We figured the cold might protect us against the dead."

I shook my head at the thought. 

"His cousin lived in a large cabin in the woods, he was into hunting and fishing, all that survivalist stuff. He'd taken in a few of his neighbors when everything started to happen."

"How long were you guys there?"

"We were there for about a month. Things were pretty good, Ahren's cousin, his name was Tyler, taught me a few things while we were there."

Jasper nodded, sipping from the flask.

I grabbed it and took another sip as well.

"It seemed like a normal day, the same as every other we'd spent up there."

I grimaced, remembering what had happened on that fateful morning.