Take It From Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

"I'm glad you got to be there for her," Stephanie and I were having lunch downtown with the twins, her great aunt passed away during her emergency visit to Canada, "how's your family otherwise?"

"Everyone's good, just keeping busy you know."  I nodded, "How about you, counting down til freedom from Atlantic?"

"Not even freedom, jumping from one stagnant boat to complete craziness." I told Stephanie everything about the Crash My Playa to the events Luke has lined up, "and he emailed me last night about studio time. Apparently I'm gonna get cracking on an album and album means tour."

"And Luke does everything extra - so it's going to be a big one." I nodded, "probably second act, opening or something. I don't even know who's relevant right now. As long as it's not with that Holly Jade."

"Speaking of which, she was on the cover of Cosmo, she said you wrote some songs for her album," Stephanie scrolled through her phone, bouncing one of her boys on her lap, "here it is. She said people like Taylor, Miranda, Carrie and even Jenna have helped pave the way for women in music. Jenna, she does a lot of work behind the scenes and I don't think people know that. She is a nice person and probably a great mom for putting her kids lives' before her own career. She wrote two of the songs on my new album."

"What?" I half scoffed, "Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?" Stephanie handed me the phone, and Holly went into more detail on how she met me, working on the sidelines of the industry and was winding down my career as my contract fizzled out. "Okay, so she's really just saying if you aren't performing you're not really working?"

"Don't let it get to you," I handed her phone back, "clearly the world is going to be shook when you come back with a new album and tour. Taylor had that little break before she released Reputation, remember?" I laughed and nodded, recalling where I was in twenty seventeen. My afternoon with Stephanie wrapped up as I picked up the kids from school and we headed home.

"I know it shouldn't bother me, but she's just so ridiculous," I showed Hunter the article, and he interjected before I could rant.

"Babe, you're right. It's ridiculous but you know how she is. Kind of a drama queen and she's always in the news. You're working on your own thing right now and it's going to be great." He pulled me in for a hug and instantly I felt a wave of relief.

"Okay, let's change the conversation," I said quietly as we talked about holidays, music and the boys birthdays, "I can take everyone to Toronto if you can't make it."

"Is that okay? I just got the tour schedule and I wanted to have the boys birthdays off more than Thanksgivings this year."

"I totally understand." I kissed his nose, "I've said it before and I'll say it again, I can never be mad at your work babe."

The next day, I sat in front of the piano, gracing the keys and twirling with ideas. "Hmmm," I pulled out my phone and scrolled, finding a particular name, Rachel Platten, "Hey, it's Jenna, I hope this isn't a bad time. I was thinking, I'm in a little bit of a career overhaul and I was wondering if I could re-record Fight Song under my new label?" Ecstatically, she agreed and said she would make a few phone calls.

"Jenna?" I heard Hunter enter the house, "oh hey there you are." I stood up to greet him, "We wrapped up rehearsal early. How are you?"

"Pretty good. I called Rachel and she's going to let me re-record Fight Song." Hunter smiled and I played through it on the piano for him.

"Babe, that's perfect. It's everything you want to say," he smiled, lines appearing on his cheeks, "such a good choice."

"Thank you. I feel good about it and I told Luke, he's also on board so it's getting to be rearranged." We caught up a little, took Millie in a walk and picked up the kids together. Over dinner, Sutton made mention of the Holly Jade comments.

"Is she trying to start something? She never has anything nice to say about anyone." Sutton handed my dishes as I loaded the dishwasher.

"I don't know sweetie. She is a bit pretentious, immature and a bit of a diva. She is quite talented but she's not very kind or polite."

"What she said about you stopping your job for us..." Sutton's blue eyes searched mine, "is it true? Did you want to stop working?"

"I would do everything the same if I had the chance to start from the beginning. I love you and your brothers more than anything." I closed the machine before looking at Sutton. "Holly Jade has been famous for what? Five minutes? I've been doing this on and off, here and there for almost fifteen years. I had a lot of help along the way, a few missteps and some learning curves." Sutton smiled. "Only once did I stop completely to catch up and reorient myself." My mind shot back to the craziest year where I toured with Dierks Bentley, was pregnant and miscarried only weeks after our announcement.

"I don't really remember that too much," Sutton leaned back on the counter, "but I remember it was hard to understand, and you and dad were sad." I nodded. "I feel lucky to have you and dad as my parents, you have the coolest jobs but you're so normal."

I laughed as our conversation spilled into the piano room. "Can I play you a song?" Sutton nodded.

"Like a small boat, on the ocean
Sending big waves into motion
Like how a single word can make a heart open
I might only have one match,
But I can make an explosion."