february 1, 2019
i know that I'll always relapse a little about this. there will always be a little sting when I hear his name, and I'll always remember things when I see his face.
but I understand that God doesn't mean for him to be my boyfriend right now.
if it was best, if it was good for me, if it was according to His plan, it would be happening.
and since it's not, then I know, he's not it right now.
and that gives me mad peace bro.
im learning to give that stuff to God.
stuff that I would normally file as my deal, my fault, my problems.
but it's not.
this is all for a reason.
i know God has much better things for me. whether that means that me and him meet again in the future at the right time, having grown and matured, and flourished.
or maybe it means there's someone else or something else farrr better waiting for me now.
so I'm accepting.
i don't know if it's really moving on.
but it's accepting. maybe moving on comes with that process.
he will be back, or I'll find something better.
i can't lose.
God's got me.
He knows what's best for me.
ill let Him hold me now.
