Falling// Jack Avery

12.

The boys have been working hard these past few days, so hanging out with them has been rare. We haven't made our public debut as a couple yet. Now the fans are just speculating our relationship. My only companions have been the guys hired to fix my roof. But I kept myself busy by going out with some of my other friends and Lillian. It's been fun to let loose. Lillian and I went shopping and then we got dressed up and went bar hopping.

After taking off my makeup and crashing in my bed I hear a knock on my window. I am desperately drunk, and I know I smell like booze. Lord help me keep my cool.

"Hey!" I smile big as I let Jack in.

"Hey, haven't been able to hang out much these last few days," he replies. He looks tired. He has bags under his eyes and his smile is more forced. He must be working hard.

"I know, I've been spending a lot of my time with the builders that finished that hole," I say and point. The area where the hole is is a different shade of white and a different texture. It'll always be a reminder of when Zach put a hole in my ceiling. I smile fondly at the outrageous memory.

He crinkles his eyes and looks me up and down, "Are you drunk?" he asks with a soft laugh.

"Uhhhh, yeah I think so," I purse my lips and nod.

"Well party girl, the team wants us to debut as a couple tomorrow night. It's a small party with some friends. Plus it'll be really fun for us all to hang out again," he offers.

I nod, "I can't wait."

**
I get a text from Jack in the morning telling me he'll pick me up at 8. Honestly I don't even know what he's taking me too, but little memories of last night start to piece together. I smile to myself as the memory of drunk karaoke resurfaces.

I take this opportunity to dress up and run with it. I put on a short black envelope skirt with a white crop tank top. I wear black strapped heels and put my hair up in a ponytail just leaving pieces out to frame my face. My makeup is simple and I accessorize lightly.

I'm putting on a soft pink lip gloss when there's a knock at my door.

All of the boys are there dressed and ready to go.

After our initial greetings with the hosts and familiar faces we go straight to the beer pong table.

Jack disappears along with Zach. It's me and Daniel versus Jonah and Corbyn.

As soon as the game starts I know I'm screwed. Jonah and Corbyn are weirdly good at this, and Daniel and I don't stand a chance. Caroline is always my pong partner. I like to think that if she was here we would have won, but I can't ignore the fact that I was definitely the one bringing our team down.

Jonah lands another ball in the cup and it's my turn to drink. I chug it down and cringe. I'm feeling a little tipsy and I generally am not a fan of beer.

The game ends with the not so shocking defeat of me and Daniel. I'm buzzed and having a great time. My mood couldn't be better. I think I laughed the entire game.

Jonah did break the table, but that only made us laugh harder.

I start to wonder where Jack went. He made and few appearances throughout our game. He seemed to be floating and hanging out with everyone.

I guess since we are supposed to go public tonight I should find him so we can take the picture for Instagram.

"Hey Zach! Have you seen Jack?" I call over the blare of the music.

"Uh I think he said he was going to get a drink."

I walk into the kitchen to get a drink for myself and maybe find Jack. I'm barely through the doorway when I notice two people leaning against the island. I notice that it's the boy I've been looking for and he has a pretty girl pressed up against the counter. I'm confused and about to interrupt the weird moment. A second later and he leans in to kiss her. My eyes widen and I'm glued to my place in shock.

I forget about the drink and quietly hurry out of the kitchen. I know he didn't notice me. He was more than preoccupied.

I genuinely have no clue what to do. We are supposed to be fake dating. Will he really blow our cover so soon? I am just going to let Lillian deal with it because I don't have the strength or will to think about this right now.

I'm tipsy and my eyes sting with tears, because the one person I need to talk to right now is across the country. I take a deep breath. I'll call Caroline later. I need to sort my own emotions right now.

My main emotion is disappointment. I knew we would never be anything, but deep down a small part of me hoped. I guess I thought maybe our fake relationship could lead to a real one. Now that hope has extinguished into nothing. I never had a chance, and I was a fool to believe otherwise.

I sit on the curb and lay back on the grass. The cool grass feels good on my warm body. My cheeks are no doubt flushed and I feel the telltale signs of tears coming. My eyes burn, but I don't want to cry. I don't want to be that pitiful. So I just look up at the sky and take deep breaths.

So what? A boy doesn't want me. Not the first time. I can't let myself fall apart for him. I swore I wouldn't be that girl.

But maybe I have no say is what hurts me.

The stars look beautiful. I can never see them from my apartment because of all of the lights, but there are way less out here. I enjoy watching the sky and ignoring my feelings.

A body plops down beside me. I turn my head and see those cute brown eyes looking at me. Jack's hair is messy and his cheeks are red. I purse my lips and look back up at the sky.

I feel his gaze still on me and I drawl, "What are you looking at?"

"Just you."

"Why?" I turn to him and look into his eyes.

"Because I like to look at you. You're very pretty," he's mumbling so gently. His eyes are a bit glazed and I bite back every remark brewing in my mind.

I just nod and whisper, "Thanks."

His eyes narrow and he says, "Why are you being so quiet? I would have bet anything you'd have a comeback."

"I'm not really feeling it tonight, Jack."

I look at his face, every little detail, and I can't help but like him. Wanting someone who doesn't want me back is a game I have participated in too many times, and I don't want to break my heart again. I want to put distance between us, but I keep coming up with excuses. I tell myself that I am just not strong enough to walk away from someone who has come to mean so much to me. I tell myself that it's too late to walk away. I literally signed myself up for this. We are together, whatever that means, for good.

But it's time to be strong. It's time to separate feelings from my new job. I pull myself up from the curb and walk away from him.

I don't look back.

A/N:

Oh wow. Sorry guys. That one hurt to write, just a little bit. But there is so much story left.

Also I know that I'm the worst at updating 🙃

Oops