Imperfect

Chapter 21

Running home feels sort of limp in a way. Like with everything else in my head I cannot filter it out and concentrate, like I feel cold but overworked and sweaty on the inside.

Stacy is reading in the kitchen and responds to my greetings with as much enthusiasm as I give in the first place so she notices nothing odd. Mum is out shopping and Dad's at work still. The Poppy's the only one who's happy to see me when I get home.

It's strange really. The 'dumbest' things in our lives can be the most aware of your emotions. We're told that we're all different, we're all special, but really we're all just beings. Dogs have the real superpowers (admittedly some don't and some other animals do, but it's mainly dogs). They know what to do when it matters and right here right now; I need a hug.

She follows me into my room and lets me hug her (whoever said that dogs hate hugs has never met this one). Without realising it, my brain which feels like it's drowning, somehow lets me nod off.

THE ALARMS!

I swear that one of the most annoying sounds in the world is the alarms!

I had been asleep on the floor but at the moment I'm just led alone.

"Charlie, you okay?" Mum asks.

Apparently I've been letting my alarm go off for a lot longer than normal so she's come to check that I'm alright.

"I'm fine Mum." I assure her, automatically.

"Okay honey. Your sister is ill so you shouldn't wait for her."

"Yeah, okay... Mum." I start after a moment of contemplation.

"Yes Charlie?" She encourages.

"I just need to tell you. Well there was a bully on the school chat room thing and it turns out it was one of my friends and he's been arrested for it and his Mum's apparently a bit out-of-it in the head." I tell her.

"Okay, thank you for telling me." She says with a smile.

Without warning I'm wrapped in her arms and she's squeezing me a little too hard.

"Your sister may have let something slip a little while ago, but we wanted you to tell us."

"Why?" I ask, rather awestruck at how well this plan was put in place as Stacy is technically ill and I can't go yell at her.

"Because that way you have control over the situation." She explains. "Now you should be getting ready for school."

When I arrive people are not around. In fact the place looks kind of deserted. But it doesn't last long.

"I knew you wouldn't message me back after last night! I just knew it!"Maria announces from behind me.

"There was nothing for me to tell you. I wasn't able to visit him." I explain.

"Oh you've not heard the news have . But it doesn't last long.

"I knew you wouldn't message me back after last night! I just knew it!"Maria announces from behind me.

"There was nothing for me to tell you. I wasn't able to visit him." I explain.

"Oh you've not heard the news have you?" She asks, changing her tone completely.

I shake my head with a confused look on my face and this is all she needs to start explaining: "At around six o'clock last night a police officer at the front desk got a bribe from Toby's mum to let them out. After all he wasn't technically not allowed to. Anyway she was apparently really high and drove them straight off the highway and into the forest. The car crashed and they both died."

This is completely different to what I was expecting.

That's all I can tell you.

I feel like a ghost as we walk to homeroom and as soon as we get there my phone is on under the table and I'm messaging Max.

I know that we know who the other is now. It's vaguely ringing at the back of my mind that he could be joking about this with one of his friends, just like Toby would, but Max is still Max and he's my first and most reliant option to talk to about this.

Charlie-Hey Max. I really needed to talk to you. Do you know about what happened with Toby? I feel really freaked out by it because you know last night when I left the hospital? Well I went to the police station and I wasn't allowed to see Toby. Possibly by the exact same cop that his mum bribed. The visiting times were right there and I didn't notice which has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done! If I'd have reported it or something then they might've been able to find them and they wouldn't have died!

I've pressed send and I'm desperately trying to let the logical side of my brain take over. But it's not. All I can think about is the fact that Toby is dead and it's probably because I couldn't be bothered to ask about a simple sheet of paper.

However I am momentarily saved from torment by Max's reply.

Max-I heard. It's not your fault. You'll get that eventually but for now it'll haunt you so I'm not going to continuously repeat myself. I learnt that from my dad because I felt guilty about my mum dying. So just stop torturing yourself. Eventually your brain will figure things out logically and until then you're gonna get used to the feeling.

After all, not being 'perfect' is exactly what makes you human, and therefore in that sense you actually are.

Charlie-I didn't know you were such a teller of wisdom. Have you written down all of Maria's quotes or something?

Max-No. It's just something I've gotten used to. Reality maybe harsher than fantasy but it's real. Also, because we're not talking in reality and I'm hoping that it won't be as harsh at the moment; do you think we could talk about us?

Charlie-Yeah, that's a good idea.

Max-So where exactly do you want to go from here? What do we do and how do you feel?

Charlie-I think we're friends for now. Start as friends then see if things work from there. Obviously continue to talk in virtual reality as well as in real life but still.

Max-Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Remember, no body's perfect!

Charlie-Thanks for the reminder.

Max-If you don't mean it when you say it out loud then you don't mean it at all and it won't make any difference. Toby died mostly because of his mom, she is definitely some part to blame for it and there's no saying that Toby wasn't at liberty to say something about it and we'll probably never know the whole truth but until then we'll just have to deal with it. Remember no one's perfect, or rather people are just perfectly imperfect. We're just all imperfect. That's all there is to it.

Charlie-Thank you, for talking and stuff.

Max-It's alright, I'm here for you because we're all just imperfect.