'I don't know what normal feels like anymore' [pll]

(6)

Tyler laid next to Ashley gently stroking her hair, he loved watching her sleep, not in a creepy way but she just looked so peaceful. Ashley slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into him, he kissed her head gently and whispered 'I love you miss benson', she stirred slightly realizing that the voice wasn't shays and she slowly opened her eyes 'Ty..?' She said sleepily 'I.. I want..' She was cut off by Tyler's lips on hers, they kissed softly at first, getting more passionate as it went on. They both pulled away for breath before Ashley spoke 'I need to.. go to the bathroom' Tyler nodded gently letting her go, she slipped out his arms and into the bathroom before breaking down in tears.

Ashley sat on the bathroom floor, tears rolling down her cheeks and a blade in her right hand, she pulled her shirt sleeve up and pressed the blade into the skin by her shoulder, she let out a breath and continued dragging the blade across her skin. It wasn't something uncommon to Ashley, self harming, she was just very good at hiding it.

Flashback

Ashley was sat in her hotel room in Vancouver, she'd just spoken to Lucy and now she was about to go on set for the first time to film the pilot of pll. Her anxiety was through the roof, she could feel a panic attack coming on, she sat on her couch and pulled out her blade, it was the only thing she could do to calm herself down, she lifted her skirt and dragged the blade across the top of her thighs, red liquid oozed from them as she continued this 6/7 times. When she was done she took a breath before putting tissue over to stop the bleeding, she didn't have time to shower so she got up, straighten herself out and went to leave - it was only then that she looked up and saw troian standing at her door, she had been watching her. In a panic Ashley ran out the door but troian grabbed her arm stopping her, Ashley broke down as troian wrapped her arms around her, she shut the hotel room door and held her until she calmed down

End of flashback

'I won't do it again I promise, please don't tell anyone'. That's how she got troian to keep quiet, she checked up on her for the first season but after that she didn't bother anymore. Ashley was good at hiding things, she knew what to wear, what to put over them, she even knew how not to flinch when someone touched her fresh cuts. You'd say she was an expert at this.

A/N - sorry this chapter is a little shorter I got stuck at the end so I just ended it

I start dance college on Friday so I'm going to be hella busy so I'm trying to write as much as I can before I go back but I have a 40 minute train journey everyday so hopefully I can write whilst I'm travelling

Please let me know any suggestions cause I'm getting stuck of where to take this

I'll put the next chapter up soon

Thank you xox