Almost Something, Almost Everything

Cheers to GG

GG may not be your real name, but it is your nickname, and that is good enough for me. GG, you are one of my best friends. We haven't known each other too long, but time is irrelevant. Recently you asked me in fourth period if I was, 'alright.' I told you I was fine because I often lie like that. You went on to say that you thought my captions on my spam account on Instagram was concerning to you, and you just wanted to check in and make sure I was okay. I repeated the lies I always do saying that I'm truly okay even though I know I'm not. Even though I know the thoughts I think and the things I have done to myself make me the total opposite of what I tell people. I am not, 'fine,' 'okay,' or, 'alright.' I have continued to think about what you said to me that day because I have come to realize that you asked me if I was 'alright,' not to be polite, but because you genuinely care. And I've never really had that before. Most of my friends often ditch me for their better, more popular friends. Even though you and I, GG, only have one class together you are still one of my best friends. On the days when I don't want to interact with anyone and I sit in fourth period, both airpods in, you don't let that stop you. You still talk to me. And nobody's ever cared enough to do that. Nobody has ever cared enough to force their way through barricades I have built. You never give up on trying to break down the walls I have constructed around myself, in an attempt to protect myself. You see, GG, I've been hurt before and I never wanted that to happen again. Because that girl that hurt me I thought was my very best friend she triggered a chain reaction. And nothing has ever gone right for me since her. She started it all. What she did to me was the beginning of the end. I didn't want to get hurt, I still don't. So I built shields and walls to stop myself from ever getting too close. I left myself with only the echoes of my own mind. And that may have been the worst or the best decision I have ever made. But either way I've done it and there seems to be no going back. I'll never be the same again. It all just hit me too hard. But you, GG, have never stopped caring. After I found out I was moving schools next year I definitely didn't want to come to the point where I could call you one of my best friends. I didn't want to make a friendship that I knew couldn't possibly last. But I have and I'm glad I did because you care, GG. I've always felt like the one that cares about others when no one cares about me. And having someone care about me is kind of a new concept for me. Having someone to talk to about everything from moving to Riverdale to the NSA is fantastic. I guess what I'm trying to say is, GG, you care and I am so beyond grateful for that. You will never know how much I love you for that. You will never know what having a friend like you means to me. You deserve so much more credit than you receive, and I just wanted to let you know how much all of your caring means to me. So, thank you, GG. You are the absolute best. Thank you!