ａｓｙｍｐｔｏｔｅ // guanho

Nineteenth

Guan Lin is perspective when it comes to emotions.

Seon Ho's aren't exactly open book, but Guan Lin could easily sense one along the lines of the feeling he harbours for him, hence he confessed.

He certainly couldn't understand why the other boy ran off despite the red on his face and how he clutched onto the senior's hands as if letting go was a sure way to die. Yoo Seon Ho always surprises him without fail.

"So you're telling me he rejected you?"

Guan Lin glared, silencing his loud seatmate.

Heads turned towards them, murmurs filled the classroom. He wanted to hide this instance; While he did push away people from his life, it didn't mean he wasn't the centre of attention among the female students who gush over his handsomeness and cold image—He is a living male protagonist of a popular romance drama people would die to meet in reality.

It is however a pity that his first confession was also his first rejection, so it hurt not just his pride but also his feelings—He hadn't thought he would experience such heartbreak.

Then again, Seon Ho makes him go through new things and explore new unfounded emotions because he is always his first to anything he could not have thought of before; Seon Ho is probably the only person to hurt him while still giving him joy.

"He likes you, but rejects you..."

Guan Lin gave the girl a look who then smiled with a nod, a trace of relief on her face.

"It probably wasn't a rejection. He's just bashful."

The boy wasn't having it, squinting his eyes at her ridiculous words.

"I doubt that's why he finds the need to run away every time he sees me." Guan Lin sighed, fingers twiddling with his pen next, eyes to the quarter-filled notebook of what was just scribblings, repetitively written with the very name of the person causing his turmoil.

"Seon Ho... Maybe he realised it was an infatuation, and snapped out of it. Yes... it must be that."

Eun Hye rolled her eyes. With Guan Lin's mule head, she was aware he was insistent with his own ideas, the classic relentless pessimistic thoughts that never fail to contort the truth he was blinded from.

Anyone could see how Seon Ho adored him, with hearts in his eyes every time the duo made eye contact, so to say it was mere infatuation is an unforgiving insult. Despite the obviousness, Eun Hye had her mind blown at how the junior tried to mask it with avoidance now that Guan Lin reprocicate his feelings as if he wasn't being blatant with adoration for the senior. She concluded that the junior hadn't thought he would get far with his feelings; It's a better assumption than her seatmate's anyway.

Yoo Seon Ho is weird, but that was probably what Guan Lin fell for—A plain Jane like her would never have. Friendship suffices more than Eun Hye wished for, but she may be regretting when the boy beside her was sulking, affecting her mood too.

"Oi, stop it. You're the one who told me relationships are a waste of time for us students, so stop being a hypocritical bitch muddling over that junior of yours."

"That was when I was ignorant, for fuck's sake."

"You're still ignorant, what are you talking about?" She swore his glare cut through her flesh, but she didn't care. "It's love—complicated and bittersweet. We're only 16, what could we possibly do to deal with risky, fluctuating feelings like this, especially so when we're inexperienced? Nothing. We just suck it up, get over it, or pretend we've forgotten how to love while doing so, and it all becomes a tiring and typical cycle that we will carry through adulthood, the stage whereby we will just settle with whatever we have for what we claim as 'happiness' and 'commitment'. Not everyone dates or marries people they love, Guan Lin."