The Fake Smile He Wears

Chapter 12

Hope y'all enjoy the new chapter format, it kind of bothered me, so I decided to change it. I'm still working on it, but with stupid algebra nation in the way, it's been a bit hard to do. I also kind of went back and added some stuff. I accidentally added like lots of words so OOOPPS. I should've worked on this chapter, (I know) but I couldn't help it. So many things were bothering me like hell. It was more of a quick revision, (that took me hours), but once I finish this fanfic, I'll actually go back and revise it. I changed a lot of stuff so if you guys want to reread the previous chapters, you can, but that's your choice. If you guys ever need anime recommendations I'm your man. So need some new anime to watch I'm here! Sorry about my rambling! Now enough about my excuses, and onto the story!
Italics- inside Alfred's head.
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"Hey, Al, you should eat more." Canada said and began piling the plate with food. He had worried look present on his face. He needed to at least eat something.

"Okay-" He began to say before he tripped over his feet and felt flat on the ground. Everyone began gathering around him their eyes full of worry. He felt his face heat up and his anxiety kicking in. He may seem like the social butterfly, but in reality, he learned to deal with people, and pretended to be social. When all he wanted to do was curl in a ball and cry. His stomach started twisting and turning. His eyes rapidly, looked at everyone.

"Don't worry I'm fine," he began standing back up, "this is nothing. There's nothing to worry about, it's not like I broke a bone or something, jeez. Y'all don't need to bring the mood down. I hate it when the mood is like this." He pouted. Then he began to chuckle. And one after another everyone began chuckling along. The air once again, was filled with colors. He grabbed the plate from Mattie and began eating it. He finished most of the plate, only a pancake and some scramble eggs were left. Mattie and everyone else seemed so happy at him. He began slowly drifting in his never ending thoughts. Maybe he did something right for once. He felt happy, that everyone else was happy. He was content with that, but at the same time he wished that the others would make him happy, even when the air and room was filled with color. He wanted more, but he felt so guilty for doing so. Why was he so greedy? He still saw black, white and gray in the room. His eyes were filled with color, but never for long. Never. Only when the others were smiling and laughing, did he see colors, once more. The colors were like a warm blanket in a warm house. The laughters and smiles, he wish he could hear and see them everywhere he goes. A warm blanket inside a cozy house, that was what it was like to him. This feeling inside your stomach, it felt weird, but nice. He longed for that feeling, he wish to feel it all the time. That feeling was his treasure, a treasure he wished to share with everyone else, but how? But, once it all stopped, there was nothing but the black, white, and gray hues. Every time the laughter and smiles stopped, he was faced with the cold, harsh reality. He felt happy. But, deep inside he asked himself if he really was. Was he? He didn't know. He had tried to understand his feelings for quite a long time, but he knew it was impossible, humans are more complex than the universe at times. His thoughts were like a void of questions that just kept on growing and growing. There was no end, and he knew that there will never be an end. People will always have unanswered questions. It's just how this universe works. There will be answers to questions, but those answers lead to more questions, and that cycle just goes on and on. He wish he knew the answers sometimes, even if it lead to more questions. He wanted an answer. An answer to why does he feel this way? Why can't he be happy, for once? Why can't he do anything right? Does anyone, really love him? His thoughts were interrupted by Tino.

"Hey!" Tino took his hand and pulled him along. "Let's go we're going to the meeting room again!" He was pulled along by the cheerful man.

America looked around trying to find and empty seat. He spotted and empty seat and sat in it. He looked at the people nearby him. On his right was Lithuania and on his left was Romano. He sighed a sigh of relief that he was at least near people he knew.