What are we doing with our lives?/Spam Book

death doesn't discriminate

 death doesn't discriminate 

between the sinners and the saints 

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you and your words obsessed with your legacy

your sentences border on senseless

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well I guess if I'm not of use

go ahead, you can cut me loose

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it's like I never made a sound

will I ever make a sound?

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it's the same person. being lonely isn't the best. i thought i could blend in with other kids at my school and community. but, i can't. sometimes, there isn't way to find happiness. everyone moves on, you get rejected and replaced. that still breaks your heart into pieces. doesn't help, but family isn't good ether. they're all scattered around and hardly knowing of your existence. you got parents, but they don't always understand you. venting is a way for me to express my darkest thoughts. using lyrics and crying also helps me. oh this was a spam book, i shouldn't be venting. but, i want everyone to hear this. if i don't return, or even talk anymore it's the fact i'm really hiding i'm sad. sad is an normal emotion for me, which replacement and rejection often occurs. i become to attached to people, and they leave without warnings. my friends aren't the best, which i do find myself alone. it's hard thinking positive stuff when all these dark emotions cross counter your head. i'm still not going to say who it is. it hurts even seeing just myself in the mirror, knowing how much of a disappointment and disgrace i've been. i don't like people worrying about me, but i truely sincerely hate myself. just to my physical looks or even my personality it disgusts me and finds me crying being the crybaby i am. everyone just comes to me as the 'smart kid' for answers without caring if i do fall onto the floor or just to even make a sound.   it h u r t s. thanks for reading. 

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as I choke back the tears

i'll wait as long as I need

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now repeat after me:

woah, everything about you is so terrible.

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why do they hate me?

why don't I fight back?

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storms are approaching

there's nowhere to hide