What are we doing with our lives?/Spam Book

Ive been thinking...

Guys i know what your gonna say is "oh dont leave" or  something about not leaving the squipters. But I think its best if im not part of the squipters. I miss everything that happens on discord. Literally. I dont understand half the things you put on here. Due to the fact my parents dont want me talking to you guys. But i think it might be best if i left the squipters. My parents were going on about how you dont care about me. And the only time you notice my existence is when i do depressing things like cutting. But i think you all are great. Some day we might meet again. Yall are great. But i cant handle having to switch accounts just to talk to you. Ontop of that i have to focus on my school work. Allthough im lazy and hardly sleep i need to start paying more attention in class but all i think is "is michael,rich, jake and brooke ok??" Or ways to convince you to stop cutting . I managed to stop because my parents found out and took everything away from me. Like i wasnt aloud on the tablet upstairs. Im starting my new school in July. I need to start boosting up my grades so they are good enough for the school. But please dont blame yourselves. It was my fault for letting my parents find out. It doesnt have to be now but im ready to be replaced in the squipters. Find someone who is able to use discord. Who treats you all well. I care about you all so much!!! Although i might be leaving the squipters. We still can be friends. It will be strange though. This kinda makes me sad. My friends told me i should stop talking to you all cause i dont know who you are. But just know i care about you all so much. Please my final request as bieng part of the squipters is that you all stop cutting and find a hobby that makes you happy. I will never forget you guys. Again this was not any of your fault. It was all my idea. I get sad when i realise that i cant have fun with you guys anymore. Like making up jokes with Dustin. Or Michaels sleepy barley awake texting. Or Christines obssesstion with librarys. Or how funny Jakes jokes are. Or how Squip is confused and appears at random times. Or how Jeremy is so cool with learning how to play the guitair. Or how cool and chilled back Brooke is. Or how Rich has an obsession with crispy bacon. Or how kind and open hearted Jenna is. Or how Chloe makes memes and cults to sacrifice Rich and Jake to the lamp God. Tbh i found that hilarious but i never wanted to admit it. Or how you all care about me (well i hope you do cause i would have made a fool of myself). I know you all may forget me but i will never forget yall. And if im correct (idk maybe?) Jeremys birthday is next? Or was it Jennas? I cant really remember but you all are kind devoited people and i admire that. Im just struggling with school and hw and having the fear of not making friends in my new school and having to balance my anime ontop of that. I may come back but please dont blame yourself. I still might talk to you through this account or my new one...

You are all wonderful people. Take care. I care about you so much. You can kick me out any time. As much as i love the squipters. I cant hide using discord on my phone my parents dont want me talking to you guys but they dont understand its their own fault for me cutting. It wasnt your fault either.

- The Hopefully Previous Madeline
(IM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS. I NEARLY CRIED BUT ITS SO HARD TO KEEP THE FACT THAT I HAD TO HIDE THAT I WAS STILL TALKING TO YOU GUYS)