My Brother's Boyfriend ✓

Ten

"I...I'm ready to listen if you still wanted to talk," I say hesitantly, growing nervous.

"Um, sure, just give me a second," he says and I hear some rustling.

"Okay, so, um, let me just start off by saying that I'm sorry, Niall. I really am so sorry. I just...there was a lot happening in my head at that time in my life and I kind of went about everything the wrong way. I know that's not an excuse, but it's the best I've got.

I...I got it in my head that you didn't care about me or that you didn't want to be my friend anymore or something along those lines, so in order to protect myself, I pushed you away. I already knew the others were phasing you out of the group, and I just kind of...joined them.

I shouldn't have. God, I really should not have done that, but I did. And you never said anything about it, so I thought you didn't care and that our relationship was all in my head and that I wasn't as important to you as you were to me. So I just...I was just really stupid.

Then I got into this relationship with Nick and whenever I'd come over to your house, you would always leave the room I was in so I thought maybe you hated me or something, and that made it all worse.

I wanted you to stay in the group, I swear I did, but the others argued that you never did anything with us anyway, so it wouldn't be a big deal. I tried to persuade them to stop doing what they were doing, but eventually I gave in because I cave under pressure like that.

It was all a mess. A huge arse fucking mess that I didn't know how to get out of, and I am so sorry that it all came out on you.

Never once did I think you felt the way you do. I didn't realize how much it affected you until that party last Friday when you yelled at me. I had never seen you yell at anyone before, nevertheless swear, so that's when I knew I fucked up big time. I just...I saw the look of fear you had on your face when he brought you upstairs, and then I saw you bleeding and I needed to make sure you were okay or something.

Alright...I think I'm done now..." he says, trailing off. His voice sounds riddled with emotions, and I have to admit that I'm fighting off tears because of how much I miss him.

"I could never have stopped caring about you...you were my best friend..." I whisper, but I know he heard me by the broken sound of his voice.

"I am so sorry, Niall. I wish I could go back in time and do everything over again, but I can't and now I don't know how to fix it," he says and it sounds like he's crying.

That does it. Now I'm crying, too.

"There's nothing really to fix..." I whisper, trying to hide the fact that I'm crying.

"I need to fix things with you, Ni. God, I don't think you realize how much I miss you."

"You...you miss me? But...but why?"

"You were my best friend too, Ni. The most important person to me. I was closer to you than anyone else, and I just...I left you because I was...insecure."

"I've never known you to be insecure..."

"Well, back then I was. A lot. I just never told anyone. There's a lot I didn't tell anyone..."

"Yeah...me too. The only two people who know everything is Zayn and my mum."

"I mean...I hate that he's taken my spot in your life, but I'm glad you have someone like him. I'm sorry, I'm just being selfish."

"I'm not really worth it, but yeah...he's been really helpful through everything," I say as I hear the window being opened.

"Hey Ni, you okay? It's been almost an hour since you came up here and I can only flirt with your mum for so long before she falls for me," Zayn jokes, laughing a bit, but then he sees me crying with the phone to my ear and his face falls, turning serious.