My Brother's Boyfriend ✓

Twenty-Two

Back to normal.

n.h.

Sitting in Harry's steady arms, everyone is looking at me like I'm going to break at any moment.

I suppose they're not wrong, because I feel like I have already broken. I must look ridiculous, honestly. Covered in bandages and bruises, trembling like a twig in the wind, curled up in a ball, cowering away from anyone who tries to comfort me.

Except Harry.

Honestly, he's the only person I know I can trust right now and I'm not even entirely sure why. I suppose, maybe, it could be because he was the first person to show me kindness after what happened?

Or maybe because he helped me when I was vulnerable?

I'm not sure, but all I know is I'm far too scared to allow anyone else to try and comfort me.

As awful as it is, I can't even let Zayn touch me and I've never had a problem with that before.

Zayn and I have always been very affectionate and physical with each other. I mean, we would snuggle all the time and he'd always hold my hand when I'd get anxious or shy, and he'd put his arm around my waist and propel me whenever I needed out of a situation. I just...I feel like a stupid baby duckling that has imprinted on something that is definitely not its mother.

I've imprinted on Harry and I wish I could have done that on Zayn.

Or my actual mum.

That would be nice.

But no, it just has to be the guy who broke my heart. One of them, at least.

Oh great.

Now I'm thinking about Toby again.

"Do you want another ice pack for your side?" Zayn asks, pulling me from my thoughts, and I nod my head. The one I've got has been on there for who knows how long, and it is no longer icy. Plus, my side is sore and I wouldn't mind having something to dull it.

He moves to get up, but Nick speaks up, "I'll get it," he says and leaves the room.

I still don't understand why he is helping me?

I move to take the ice pack off that I have on, and pull it free.

"Here you go," he says when he comes back into the room, holding the fresh ice pack out to me. With a slightly shaky hand, I hold it out to Nick and take the fresh one, the cold stinging my skin a bit on contact.

I must have done something to deserve the pain.

Well...I know what I did to deserve the pain. I'm not sure how much sense it would make to anyone else, but it makes perfect sense in my head. I was texting another man after having sex with my boyfriend, strike one. I didn't wan't to have sex in the first place, strike two. I didn't tell him about Zayn coming to visit, because I didn't think it was a big deal, but strike three nevertheless.

I deserved this.

"Thanks," I whisper, and he smiles a little. Harry is sitting next to me, maybe the smile was directed at him instead?

I suddenly don't know how to put the ice pack on under the bandages. I mean, I know how, but I can't manoeuvre it from where I'm sitting.

"Do you want to come into the kitchen with me so I can check your cuts and put the ice pack on?" Harry asks me softly. I actually would like that, I don't want to look like a fool in front of the others, so I nod my head yes and he stands up, holding his hand out for me to take.