That Summer Day

8

Present-day

I woke up with the sound of birds chirping, the waves crashing in the huge rocks, and the cool breeze of wind that enters my wide-open window. Its been a year since I lost her. Since she died. Every day was nothing but pain to me. I can't surf, I can't eat, and if possible, I can't even live normal. She had affected me in so many ways I never thought she would. She made me cry myself to sleep, stare in the ocean and hate every ounce of it. My friends were there to comfort me, but it wasn't enough. Blake moved to New York since that tragedy happened, but I insisted to stay.

Today, I will try to face the place where I've lost her. The cliff where I last held her. I packed my things, my board, and I went towards the beach.

Everything was still the same, except for the fact that a lot more people visit this area. "Its been a while," I whisper to myself trying to have the courage to go back to my painful past. I started climbing the more stable cliff, and finally arrived at the top of it.

She was right, going here in the morning is much better. I have enjoyed sunrise more because of her, it reminded me of her too. All that surrounds me actually reminds me of her. The sunrise, this cliff, the ocean, bonfires, name it and my mind will give every single memory of her.

I sat by the edge and watched the sun rose at its peak. The pain in my heart kept growing and growing. Tears started to fall from my face and I didn't even made a move to stop it. My body felt weak, and it was like I was drained from all of the memories that were rushing inside my head.

I looked below me and saw the calm waters splash against the rocks. I wonder where she fell. We never really had her body for her funeral. It was never found, authorities have no idea why it was gone and call me crazy, but that gives me hope that she could still be alive somewhere.

I stepped into a ledge facing the ocean below me, I wonder what will happen if I jumped here? I tried committing suicide before, but none of them worked. I tried and tried but I'll always end up asleep in a hospital bed beside a group of crying friends. I was done with those things, especially depression. I got through it, but not her death. I want to follow her, find her, but she doesn't want me to. If I try to jump in the water, nothing would happen.

But maybe today is different, maybe I can try and maybe it'll work. I took off my shoes and stood. With her on my mind, I took the leap falling straight into the cold waters. That jump made me feel alive, every vein in my body awakened from its deep sleep. I swam all around trying to find her, but just like before, I saw nothing. I swam back to the surface and float for who knows how long. All I know is that I didn't care about anything whether I die or live. A shark could eat me right now or maybe I'll die because of the cold. Whatever it may be, I just want to see her again.