13 reasons why [completed]

chapter 2;

chapter 2;
it has been few days since the 'inccident' happened. i haven't really felt good. not fisically, but physically. i didn't have motivation to eat or go out of bed so i played sick. it worked, so that's good. but today mom said i have to go to school. my parents are still mad at me but whatever. i just hope that the situation in school will be little bit better. i was again walking to school alone, being super nervous. as i walk in, everything is same like the last day i have been here. i see that little evil. you guessed right, martinus. i try not to think about him and walk to my friends. shit we have same friends. as i reach them, everyone looks at me weirdly. 'hey' i say, trying to sound normal. no one answers, they just turn their heads back and starts whispering something. i look down, but fastly i notice alex turining around me. he looks at me and seriously says: 'marcus listen. we can't be friends anymore. who know if you would again just take some girl and rape her. we don't need someone like you. i'm sorry'. and with that sentence he leaves. i stand there, shocked, trying to understand that i just lost my friends. i kept telling my self that it's just a lie, just a bad dream. but it wasn't. this is true. i have no one.  i already felt tears forming in my eyes. no marcus can't you be a man at least once and don't cry. then, i felt my breath getting faster and heavier. i didn't know what was happening. my hands were sweating and shaking. my heart was beating so fast, like it would pop out of my chest. i tried to calm myself down. it didnt work. everyone was just staring at me. i felt dizzy. somehow, i got into the boy's bathroom. i washed my face and tried to slower down my breath. thanks god it worked. but okay what the hell just happened to me. i shook my head and walked to class. shit i'm late. i came in and it was awkward asf. i sat in the back, thinking about how my life became a completle mess. my friends left me when i needed them the most. i feel so... empty. i feel like i'm a piece of shit that everyone left. single tear rolled down my cheek. again crying. ugh i need to learn how to stop this. stop everything. i'm sick of this life. maybe i should change school. but wait, there's only one school in trofors. or i should move. but i don't have money for that. anyways the bell rang and everyone went to next class. the whole school day was shit. i was all alone, no one said a word to me. everyone was just looking at me with disguisted face. i understand them. who would like me. even my friends left me. i was so mad and hurt at this point. i felt so weak. weak and useless. my whole life was a mess and i just hoped it will end.
second reason: fake ass friends