Serena

F o u r

Long chapter, sorry! Carry On

I take a bite of my BLT and a long sip of my malt before responding to the patiently waiting Jake Steffey. "How do you know my last name? I don't think I ever even told you."

He raises his left shoulder nonchalantly, stealing a cheese fry from my plate. If it were anyone else I would have said something but for some reason I didn't mind. "I asked around. Kinda had to since you won't tell me anything about yourself."

Rolling my eyes, I take another bite of my sandwich as I contemplate on how to answer. After spending a few moments arguing with myself in my head, I place the half eaten BLT back down on my plate and wipe the crumbs that stick to my fingers on my pants. "Maybe because there isn't much to tell you," I reply, locking my gaze with his warm brown eyes, "I'm pretty boring."

He leans forward, all playfulness gone from his tone. "Something tells me that isn't true."

"What is this, some movie?" I think to myself. Studying his face, I wonder why he is so adamant about getting to know me. Surely it wasn't because he was genuinely interested in me or even my life for that matter. A guy like him could get any girl that he wanted with only a few sweet nothings whispered in her ear. Maybe he heard about the rumors and wanted to find out if they were true or not, confirming them for the school? Or was just just a nosy person in general?

Looking up at the table behind us, I see that every one of them is turned our way, watching us without even trying to hide it.

Suddenly, my face heats up and I shake my head. Standing up, I pull out a twenty from my wallet and toss it on the table, my appetite gone at my possible realization. "Ask around, I'm sure they can tell you what you want to know if they haven't already," I mutter, leaving the restaurant in a huff. I don't know why I let it get to me so much, but I had hoped that Jake was different. "He still could be, you don't know that for sure," I think to myself as I got into my car.

Shaking my head, I look in my rearview mirror at the restaurant—more specifically, at the booth I was sitting at. Jake was still at my table, watching me with a confused expression. Sighing, I put my car in reverse and headed home. I hate to be dramatic, but I just wasn't in the mood today.

Once I arrive, I take a shower and change into a pair of old sweats and a baggy t-shirt before working on homework for an hour or so until it was time for bed. Putting my books away, I make my way to my bathroom and go through my nightly routine.

Once finished, I remember Dr. Kim asking me about my medications and grunt. Reluctantly, I open the medicine cabinet and grab the two pill bottles that were practically full. One was for depression/anxiety which I have been able to manage on my own so far and the other was to help with sleeping. Normally I would just take melatonin if I can't sleep but these pills are stronger and do something with the brain to help ward off dreams. I scan the labels, reading my information that was printed on the bottles along with Dr. Kim's name.

Pursing my lips, I decide I'd rather not take them and  place them back on the shelf before closing the mirror to  study myself.

I looked like myself obviously, but my eyes seemed as if they belonged to someone else. Every once in a while I'd fall back into my old ways—how I was when everything first happened—and it usually took a few days to feel like my "normal" self again. Not liking what I was seeing, I turn off the light and get into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin and wrap myself in a protective cocoon. It takes time, but eventually I fall asleep.

When my alarm rings the following morning, I hit the snooze button and contemplate on not even going to school even though it's only the third day and that we had a short week this week given today is Friday. "Real nice Serena. You can't even handle two days of high school and you already want to quit," I think.