Growing From The Pain

12

"Hey man. Can you tell me where we're going?" I pulled the blindfold-covered Lance up his favorite hill. At the top I let him go. He quickly takes the blindfold off. "What is this?"

I point to Kalternecker who is probably ignoring us right now. He smiles. "Why'd you bring me up here?" I shrugged. "You don't know?" I nod. "So you just pulled me up here for no reason?" I nod.

I take out my hair tie and let my hair blow in the sunset breeze. I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist. "Even though I've seen this scene a million times it's even more beautiful than it's ever been. Wanna know why?"

"Hmm?"

"Because I'm with you." He goes in for a kiss. As I receive it I wake up.

"Goddamnit," I whisper. It's been two weeks since the incident and I've had this dream every night since. The agony is killing me slowly. Still, waiting will produce it's fruit in time. I look over in the bed to find no one there. I frantically searched the room. By the windowsill he sat staring at the moon. "What are you doing up?"

"Did I wake you? Sorry." I get up and join him there.

"What are you doing up?" He points at the moon.

"It's beautiful tonight." I smile. "What?"

"I love how you take pleasure in the most simple things now." He chuckles then turns his attention back to the moon.

"Maybe. Maybe." We sit there for hours in the quiet, staring at the beauty of the moon. Then he moves back to the bed. I follow him. "Are you going to sleep?"

"Probably, why?"

"No reason." He turns over, something he never does. A quiet concern fills me up, but I don't act upon it. Instead I do what I said I was gonna do.

🌷 🌷 🌷

"Keith. Keith," I hear someone whisper. "Keith, wake up. Keith." I open my eyes slowly.

"I'm up. I'm up." Lance is sitting at the edge of the bed. He's already dressed and smiling happily. "What's going on Lance?"

"Nothing actually."

"Then why did you get me up?" I groan. He shrugs. He had an awful lot of energy today. I close my eyes again. Now I couldn't go back to sleep. "You're still there aren't you?" I open an eye and see him grinning. "Fine," I complain. I get up, get some new clothes, and change in the bathroom. "I changed. Now what?" I was so unenthusiastic.

He happily pulled me downstairs while I still felt dead inside. "Surprise!" There around the dining room table sat our team. Pidge, Shiro, Hunk, and Coran were eating eggs and waffles. I rub my eyes to make sure it wasn't a mirage.

"You guys are actually here," I say surprised. I was still tired as hell. That was evident. I grab a plate and fill it with eggs. Then I make some coffee, black, and go to the table. I sit beside Shiro who happily enjoys his meal without acknowledging me. He turns to me when he finishes.

"Been a long time Keith. Acxa said to send her regards." He pats me on the back. Of course I was still out of it. Lance took a seat next to me. "Pidge called us out here." I turned to Pidge. She slowly shrunk in her chair.

"Why are you scowling?" Hunk asks.

"It's not intentional," I partially lie. I take a sip of my bitter, hot brown morning potion to gain some kind of strength. My face lifts a little after my first sip. I blink a bit before taking it all in. "Okay, I'm alive." They all laugh at my little joke. "So? How are you guys?" They all answer with "good" or "okay." I sigh. "I meant how is life? What have you all been doing?"

"Diplomacy," Hunk answers. "But I get to be with Shay everyday, so it's not so lonely." He closes his eyes and probably starts thinking about Shay. "Shiro has been with me as well." He nods and eats another waffle.

"Altea's been great," Coran says ecstatically. "We're a very welcoming community of people. Aliens all over the universe have come to us for refuge and other things."

"I've just been training the new kids," Pidge chimes in. "Nothing big. What about you Keith? What have you been doing?"

"A lot of farmwork," I say, glaring over in the recently impaired's direction. He takes the full brunt of my shame. "It's fun though. The chickens are nice, and I talk to Kalternecker a lot."

Hunk's head pops up at the mention of the name. "You still have Kalternecker Lance?" Lance nods. "That's nice. That cow can be a really good listener." He turns to Lance. "And how have you been?" Lance shrugs. "What do you mean you don't know?"

"I guess I've been training this guy over here to do farmwork. It's not much." He goes back to his food. For a few minutes there's an awkward silence. "It's the funniest thing." Everyone looks up. "Training him. He steps in horse crap every day." He starts to chuckle to himself. "A pig sat on his face." They all break into laughter. My face was red from embarrassment. "A goat kicked him. And the sheep tried to suffocate him."

They're all laughing uncontrollably. I look over at Lance, who is also laughing, and smiling. They may be laughing at me, but he's happy, and that makes me happy. The laughter dies down. I pick up everyone's finished plates.

"Hey, guys," Pidge starts. "Why don't we take a trip?" We all turn to her now intrigued by this new idea. "I mean we've all just been working and working. I think we all definitely deserve a break."

"Interesting idea," Shiro says. He closes his eyes. "I think that's a perfect idea." He smiles brightly at us. "I'll have someone stand in my place for work then we'll meet back at the Garrison to work out the details."

"Then it's a date," Lance asks. He looked at me anxious for the answer. I nod to affirm it. He jumps up from his seat. A wide smile said everything he couldn't. He rushed upstairs. The others just chuckled. I showed them out and then went to follow Lance. I find him jumping up and down on the bed like a kid. "Join me Keith!"

"It might break," I jest. He jumps off and comes to me. He puts his hands on my shoulders. He closes his eyes for a second then opens them again. "Lance?"

"I'm speechless." He brings his hands to my cheeks and puts our heads together. "I'm utterly speechless." I had never seen him this happy. He was overly ecstatic and I wasn't entirely sure why. Was it because we all get to hang out again or because he gets a break? Either way I was happy that he was happy. "I could just," he paused before finishing the sentence. Then he broke eye contact.

"You could just what?" I chuckle. It was odd what he had just said and done. It was like the joy went away, but was still there at the same time. He flopped down on his bed and spread out like he making a snow angel. "Lance?" I stand next to the bed and hover over him. "Hello?" I wave my hand in front of him. He takes it and pulls me down.

I land on him. "What was that for?" I complain. He smiles. I can feel the deep rumble of a chuckle in his chest. I lift myself up right on his chest. "What do you have to say for yourself?" Again chuckles rumble in his chest. He was making me angry now. I start to get off, but he holds me back. I bend down to his face. "Let go," I say through clenched teeth.

"Not a chance," he whispers back. He puts his arms around my waist. "Because I'm so happy I could just kiss you." I look at him shocked. He pulls me in and kisses me softly. It's brief, but all I need. He stares into my eyes and runs a hand through my hair while the other stays on the small of my back.

"Do you know how long I've dreamt of this moment?" He smiles before pulling me back in for another kiss, this time longer. My hands start to roam his body. I feel all over the top of his shirt to define every line and curve. Our lips mold passionately. His hand moves under my shirt. I assist him in taking it off. "Are you sure you wanna do this," I ask panting. He gives me another kiss.

"I want nothing more." We change positions. He literally rips his shirt off. "It was too dirty anyway." I chuckle. "Shall we begin?" I nod and he takes me to another world. He reveals his secrets to me and I gladly become selfish making sure they are mine and mine alone.