The Notorious Story Of Jupiter Rory

Chapter Thirty-Six

"Who do you love now?"

I was running, pushing myself further and further under the dark morning sky, the streets quiet this time in the morning.

Sleep didn't come easy for me; keeping me up all night until I finally called it quits, hoping a run would do the job and put me to bed.

Too many things racing on my mind, all leading back to one person. The one person who's been clouding my judgement since I first got to this town.

Everything that happened within these last few months fucking my head up, leaving me restless at night - never being able to sleep.

Because I've made so many bad and stupid decisions, I know deep down I'd never take them back, but shit was hard to deal with.

All I wanted was space but I hated being alone, but whenever I went out and I was around people all I wanted was to be alone. I made no sense.

I've been saying I wish I never met Noah Ashbury, but I was lying right through my teeth, to everybody.

I was a weak bitch for him, and there was nothing technically wrong with that, just for the fact that someone like him could never really love someone like me.

Everyone knew I had bad habits, I was a whirlwind of emotions wrapped up with a pretty bow. I was pretty, but psychotic at the same time.

I blast my music louder, slowing my pace when I passed through a park, dropping down on a park bench in front of a lake. Watching the sun begin to peak.

My mind was buzzing, I wanted to run to my parents for advice but I knew I already put them through too much already. The didn't needed me whining about my nonexistent love life.

Some point in the day, or night I'd be getting piss ass loaded with whoever, just to feel something.

Something that isn't heartache.

Growing up made me numb, everyone around me shaped me into the person I was. But they also knew, I was a wild card - often getting myself into messy situations.

I wasn't the black sheep, just the one who does the most dumb and reckless things. Both the twins were party animals, they were just sneaky.

While I wasn't graced with such ability.

I'm not where I'm supposed to be mentally, but I knew I was getting there slowly. Self discovery was a terrifying thing, and something scarier was learning to love yourself.

Sure, I did some wild things and do some bad drugs, but I'm learning from my mistakes, taking it slow all because reality blows.

Each day, becoming more comfortable with myself, knowing that the one person who made me feel the most me was Noah.

He probably never knew it, but somehow he made me feel better, our relationship being real when it came to our banter; our arguments.

Those were all real, turning my feelings real.

The sun rises in the sky slowly, taking an entire 9 minutes until it was shining bright, causing me to stand to my feet, heading back home before anyone woke up.

Knowing today would be a day full of slacking around in Pj's and doing laundry, if I'm feeling spontaneous I might even clean my bedroom.

Slipping in through the front door, I close it and lock it behind me quietly before heading up the stairs after kicking off my shoes.