betrayed | newtmas au

grip

(i tried to satisfy your newtmas hearts and created this piece of trash instead. i'm so sorry in advance i don't know how to write.)

thomas got home first, not bothering to go to minho's today with his thoughts so jumbled. he didn't expect to see newt of all people sitting with his head in his hands on his front porch.

"newt?"

the blonde looked up. he looked almost scared. and that scared thomas.

"how long? how fucking long? when were you going to tell me, tommy? is this some bloody joke you and minho are playing on me? because i don't think it's fucking funny,"

thomas' brain short circuited. it felt like someone tore his teeth out, but in his brain. he was hurt. minho told newt. minho betrayed him and fucking ruined everything. how was he even supposed to respond? yeah i've kinda known i've liked you since the third grade but it's been since first so i isolated myself from you and hurt the both of us. also, marry me.

but thomas couldn't do that. he couldn't even start, not when newt's look was so intense and intimidating like it was. he had never seen him look like that. ever. and they'd known each other for a long time.

"bloody answer me,"

his tone sent a chill of anger through him. newt had no idea how long thomas suffered on his behalf. he had no idea how many times he glanced at him and his fucking twin while they had fun. he had no clue.

thomas was fed up. he was tired. he just wanted to crawl into bed.

"you don't have the right to be mad at me, newton isaacs! you don't know what i've been through to keep you away from me! do you understand why i did it? why i left? do you understand how fucking torn apart i've been for years?!"

newt got up from his position on the stair of the porch.

"i told you, you don't know what i fucking need! you didn't have to push everyone away!"

thomas felt his shirt collar roughly gripped by newt's shaking hands. they were close now, and although he had always wanted to be close to the other, this is not what he meant. he never wanted to hurt him, and pain was all he could see in his eyes.

"i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry newt. all i know is you don't need what i put you through."

newt's expression softened at his tone, but he grabbed thomas' shirt tighter. the brunette was sure he was about to be punched.

"what did i say before, tommy? i need you."

.

thomas didn't register that newt's lips were on his until he felt their chests flush together.

it took ten years for newt to kiss him, and in that moment, thomas decided that the wait was worth every second of pain and being apart.

he couldn't even fathom how good it felt, newt's lips on his own, both of them sharing breaths. thomas almost began to freak out when one of the blonde's soft hands gripped his hips while the other ran up his back softly to his hair that he held on to. he felt like he was going to explode when those damned fingers, so thin and beautiful, began to pull just slightly enough for him to feel it. he was completely fucked.

just as he began to moan slightly at the gesture, newt pulled away, slowly so he would still be close, but enough that they could breathe on their own. thomas didn't want to open his eyes, too scared that he had imagined the whole thing. well, that is, until newt placed his lips on the exposed part of his neck, which caused his eyes to open wider than he ever thought possible, as if he could think in a moment like this. goddamn. he didn't even know if words could possibly come out of his mouth in coherent phrases.

"let's go inside, tommy. resa might be home soon,"

all thomas could respond with was a slight nod. newt clasped their hands together as he led him to his own room.

i'm dreaming. newton isaacs is not making out with me. never in a million years could he ever-
fucK!

newt just sat thomas on his bed so he could straddle his waist. they were still holding hands. it felt like they were trying to make up for ten years of lost time. thomas didn't mind at all.

"newt,"

the blonde boy on top of him looked up from his neck with puppy dog eyes. thomas almost melted right there.
but then newt smirked, and he fucking knew that the brunette was putty in his hands any time he did that. he began to move back to what he was doing when he felt a tug on his collar. thomas pushed their lips together again as he began to lift up the other's shirt. they only broke it away so that it could be pulled over newt's head.

~

the boys stopped before anything escalated too much, not because they wanted to, but because they heard the front door slam. teresa was home. they both hurriedly grabbed their shirts from across the room (yes thomas' came off eventually) and exchanged fleeting glances. they knew they couldn't get caught. newt placed one last kiss on thomas' forehead as he made his way to teresa's room, as if he'd been waiting there the whole time.

i couldn't find you after school. thomas let me in. it's okay, i didn't mind the wait, i just did homework while you were out.

newt had to make a story, a believable excuse. he needed an alibi. really though, he couldn't focus on much of the logistics. he could only think about thomas.

(i hate myself for this. i literally had to go and read other amazing fan fictions to gain inspiration to write. IM SO SORRY FOR THIS)

writers block still going strong