betrayed | newtmas au

silent

. . .

"thomas! get your ass down here and help with groceries!"

the brunette groaned in annoyance at the sound of his twin's voice and the slamming of the door. why couldn't teresa just let him rot his brain playing video games with minho over the phone for a few more hours?

all of his thoughts ceased when he heard the damned laugh that never stopped sounding in his head. newt. also known as teresa's best friend. also known as his crush since she brought him home for the first time in first grade.

that was the first year the twins had ever been separated for school. teresa, being the social butterfly she is, latched on to her classmates immediately. everyone loved her. even their own parents would compare the two.

"oh tom, why can't you be like resa? have you made any friends?"

when he shook his head no, his mother insisted teresa bring a friend home just for him. she burst through the door the next day holding on to a timid blonde boy's arm as if she was scared he might wonder off. of course, since thomas was six and never really had friends of his own, he couldn't understand that the feelings creeping in his stomach when they exchanged glances were not platonic.

he almost didn't accept minho's friendship in second grade when he realized he didn't feel the way he did with him as he did with newt. once he did though, he eventually figured it out.

newt wasn't just a friend to him.

terrified of his own feelings and ruining the trio he, newt, and teresa had become, he simply isolated himself once again starting in third grade. for years, minho and family were the only people he talked to. he never raised his hand in class, even when every answer was so painstakingly obvious, because newt was now in his class, and if the blonde thought he couldn't talk, maybe he wouldn't question it.

when the trio would walk home as they did every day, thomas always walked behind them and observed. there was no contribution to conversation. yes, he always got shit from teresa about it, but how could he explain to her that for years now he had a crush on newt of all people, teresa's best friend, who once was his as well.

although it was hell, thomas was relieved when teresa and newt began to walk home by themselves, leaving him to walk with minho to the other's house. the buff boy and violent video games were his escape until he eventually had to go home every day either to the now inseparable friends or just his nagging twin. whenever they were together on the couch or sitting at the table doing homework, the blonde would try to make longing eye contact with thomas. he somehow managed to resist those big brown eyes.

newt and teresa were together so much for so long, from first grade to now, tenth, that everyone expected them to just get into a relationship. their parents constantly wanted him over because he had become "apart of the family", which meant more awkward staring and avoidance. it ate thomas up inside, knowing that his twin and eternal crush were expected to be a thing, and they stopped denying the rumors about it, too, although nothing was official. and no, after ten years, thomas has never gotten over the blonde.

then the unthinkable happened.

thomas sat at the kitchen table after unloading the bags of food, listening keenly to the two's conversation in the family room connecting to it. newt was visibly shaking, he could see that from that far away. teresa sat him on the couch with a slight push on his shoulder. tears began to stream down his porcelain skin. thomas ached to kiss his forehead and wipe them away. that boy deserved to be loved.

"resa," thomas heard him whimper, and that was it. he snapped after so many years, lifting himself up from the wooden chair and aggressively pushing himself away from the table as if that would get him to newt faster. when he reached the couch and saw the blonde curled into a ball with his head in the pillows, he almost broke down himself.

"newt, hey, it's me. it's your tommy."

the boy's sobs ceased for a moment before he got choked up and let out another. crazily though, when thomas reached up to rub his arm in a soothing manner, newt leaned into it. he started to quiet himself and furiously rub away the redness in his cheeks that came from crying, or thomas, or both. newt hadn't heard the brunette talk in years. he hadn't called him that since they walked home together, when it rained and thomas would splash him with puddles he jumped into on purpose, and newt would yelp as the water soaked whatever it hit. or when newt would sleep over and teresa was asleep, so he and thomas would tell each other scary stories, which meant neither of them would even want to close their eyes just so they could be in each other's presence for longer. every time thomas put on that voice he just knew would scare the daylights out of him, newt would call him that in a warning tone.

newt missed his tommy. he missed him so much.

and now he was about to lose him again.

"i-i need to tell you something, and i know you both will look at me differently, you both will hate me, but it's been nagging me for years now. i can't hold it in anymore."

thomas hated that he could ever think that. he rubbed his back soothingly now after taking a seat next to the blonde so he could calm him down. somehow he always knew how to do so, no matter how much time they spent apart, no matter how much things had changed. teresa moved to the floor so she could see newt better, staring intently at him, but deciding against saying anything. thomas obviously had control over the situation, which shocked her to say the least, but it was nice to see the two around each other again after so long.

"newtie, we could never hate you. i could never h-"

his sharp whisper resonated through the air, cutting thomas off and sending him spirally into an abyss of thought.

"i'm gay."

everyone went silent.

(the next update will not be until this story is officially completed. that might be a while. thank you for your patience! i hope you enjoy! ~g)