DEH One shots!!

Heal《Kleinphy/Kleinsen》

(This will be a quicko angst one shot so sTRAP IN)

TW: Mentions of suicide, substance abuse, and reg abuse

sorry our dead gay boyo has a lil bit of issues

Connor Murphy had committed suicide. He had gone off the edge. Poofed himself away. As Jared sat staring his family friend, Evan Hansen in the eyes, the other male nodded on confirmation.

Jared couldn't breathe. He felt as if the world had stopped turning. Everything was still. His heart skipped a beat. He heard a sound, much like a strangled goose honking. It took Jared a moment to realize that he'd made the sound, and that the sound had been a sob/gasp for air.

They'd been at Evan's, just fucking around and being goofs, when suddenly Evan's mom burst in to say a quick goodbye and said she had to leave suddenly and that she loved Evan, etcetera. Then, Jared got a certain call from Cynthia Murphy.

Jared felt arms around him and it took him a moment before he realized Evan was hugging him. He stubbornly pushed the other male away. "What the hell,Evan? I'm not some soft fuck. I was clearly choking on my ramen." He said, although he had finished his ramen long ago and the word 'choking' brought an entirely different scene to mind.

Jared still was fighting for air, though, and Evan knew this. "It's okay to feel things, you know." Evan said softly, moving forward to rest a hand on Jared's leg.

Connor had said the exact same thing to him two months and three weeks ago. Jared had looked over at Connor with a small smile. "That's what I'm afraid of." He said softly. Connor had laughed and shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

Jared was brought back to reality by Evan patting his shoulder and getting up to turn the video games they'd previously been playing off. "You don't have to pretend not to care that he's dead." He said softly,looking over at Jared.

Jared glared at Evan before collapsing against the pillows and covering his face with his hands as tears silently streaked his face. "Feelings hurt, Evan." He said quietly.

Evan was suddenly at his side-- Jared felt rather than saw him ease onto the mattress next to him, sighing. "I know, Jared. But we're stuck with them. Some are more pleasant than others. And some are mixed. Like falling in love with someone whilst being jealous of the person they're in love with but still wanting them to be happy and trying to be happy for them at the same time."

Jared risked a peek up at Evan, who was smiling somewhat sadly at him. He narrowed his eyes. "You can't be jealous of a dead person." Jared said accusingly.

Evan put his hands up in surrender. "Ah, well.. you two were closer than you and I were, and it didn't really make much sense because of our.. ya know.."

Jared wheeled on him angrily. "Our history? God, do you know how pathetic that sounds, Evan? We're only friends because our moms are friends. The only reason we hang out is to be out of their hair as they hang out. If they hadn't have met, there is absolutely no way that we would have met or talked otherwise." He spat.

Evan flinched back, scooting away and recoiling to the other side of the bed. He glanced over at Jared, rubbing his upper arm as if it was bothering him, although his forearm was the part that was actually broken. He risked a glance at Jared, who had turned half away and was leaned over with his head in his hands, his glasses pushed up as his body shook with uneven and rocky breaths.