❝sweet surrender❞↠ jerrie thirlwards

chapter 5

"Mom?"

It's quiet in the Thirlwall household besides Jade yelling for her mom. When she does find her, she's sitting at the kitchen table reading a knitting magazine. Last time Jade checked, her mom wasn't into knitting.

"When did you start getting into knitting?" she asks her mom as her palms get even more sweaty.

Her mother laughs before taking off her reading glasses and putting the magazine down. She eyes her daughter up and down before laughing again. "Right when I realized I need to find something to keep myself busy," she tells her. "all I do is cook and clean. I need to do something for myself for once."

Jade just laughs awkwardly and nods, agreeing with her mom. She places her hands in her jean pockets and sighs, "I need to tell you something, mom."

When she eyes her daughter again, she notices her outfit. Black destroyed jeans and a nirvana tee-shirt. She doesn't accept the clothes that she wears because they seem rebellious, but she has to let it go because whatever she does, Jade continues to wear them. She sighs, "What is it, honey?"

Jade sees her mother's disapproval of her attire but tries to ignore it. This is more important than her mom not approving the things she wears. "I think I'm-" when she tries to speak, no words come out. It's like her throat locked up and nothing can ever come out. As her mom looks at her weirdly, she can slowly feel her throat opening again.

"I think I'm gay."

Her mom just stares at her. It's been a tradition, I guess, to be a very religious person. Whatever the Bible says, the Thirlwall family agrees and obeys. "You're joking, right?" she asks, confusion in her voice.

As Jade's heart drops, she shakes her head even if she doesn't feel the need to answer her question. She knew her mom wouldn't approve of her liking another girl. She knew her mom was homophobic. But she still thought deep in her mind that maybe, just maybe, her mom would finally accept her.

Her mom doesn't even say anything else, just gets up from her seat and walks off into her bedroom. Jade just knows she will be getting the silent treatment for a long time.

...

As she sees Perrie walking by the janitor's closet, she quickly pulls her in. Perrie gasps loudly but holds in a small scream when she sees Jade in front of her. They both exchange smiles.

"I need to tell you something," Jade says quietly. They both just stare into each other's eyes and the tension rises. You can just see that both of them want a kiss from the other.

"And what is it?" Perrie says with a wide smile, already assuming what she is about to say.

Jade doesn't even say anything. She just looks straight at Perrie and leans in quickly, connecting their lips. Perrie smiles and places a hand on her hip and another on her bum. Jade wraps her arms around Perrie's neck since she is taller than her.

Someone opens the door behind Perrie and they instantly pull away. The janitor gives them a glance and sighs. This isn't the first time he's seen two people kissing or even more in the janitor's closet. It's honestly a daily thing for him. He just shrugs it off and tells them to continue while leaving the room.

They both giggle in unison and connect their lips once again.

-

"Why can't we go to your house?" Perrie asks as they walk up to her room.

Jade sighs and rubs her thumb against Perrie's palm. "My mom doesn't accept me liking you," she tells the blonde, looking down at the hardwood floor.

Perrie just nods, understanding the problem since her mom is also homophobic. She never had a great relationship with her mom. Her mom sees her kissing a few girls and sometimes overhears about Perrie dating girls. She doesn't approve of it, but Perrie doesn't care. It's her life. She gets to kiss who she wants.

They walk inside of her room and Perrie shuts the door behind Jade.

"Don't tell me you planned to fuck me or anything," Jade asks, getting a bit nervous thinking about it. She is a virgin after all, so it's a sensitive thing to think about.

"I can't believe I just heard you curse," Perrie mumbles against her breath before smiling at Jade. "Absolutely not. I wanted to cuddle, if that's fine with you?"

"Of course it is," she says, laughing softly before walking to Perrie's bed and sitting beside her.

-

They have their arms around each other's waists and legs intertwined. So much happiness is coming off of both of them. When they move closer to each other, they can feel each other's heartbeats. Both of them are beating really fast. They smile each time they feel it, knowing that they feel the same way.

"You're amazing," Perrie whispers into her ear before biting onto it softly. They both giggle in unison. Jade grips onto Perrie tighter when she bites a little harder.

Words keep trying to escape those pink lips of Perrie's. Three words that she's been dying to say since first grade. Since Jade stole her crayons back in second grade. Since Jade held her hand in third grade. Since forever.

I love you. I've always loved you. Please love me.

But she can't say that. At least, not so soon. Jade probably doesn't even love her, right? Maybe it's just some phase she's going through. A phase that she thinks she's a lesbian.

Hopefully not.

•

wow, this is short, sorry!

hopefully you liked it otherwise babes :)

thanks for almost 200 views (is that what you call it?)! that's truely amazing for me. I love you all so so much.

byeee!