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I at this current moment am listening to dear evan hansen. I feel icky. I smoked yesterday, it was fun, I ate two pizzas. I feel booty now tho. I keep having really intrusive thoughts about dying and it's actually terrifying. I have these insane impulses to hurt myself or some shit and it's getting old tbh. I'm not joking around anymore this shit isn't funny and I'm kinda pissed I exist like this.

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