You left tonight.
You left tonight after years and years
Of taking
Of pretending to care
Of getting my hopes up,
Broken heartstrings pulling tight
An old blanket throw off,
Comfort and safety wearing off.
You left
Void of love
Just a flippant message
As you moved on
On and off.
You care when you're drunk
But never enough
Drunken words misaligned with sober thoughts
Too fat
Too insecure
Too everything,
But not enough of anything.
You left after years of taking
And now I'm hurt over two,
Despite having one
And magically,
Those I give the most to
Are the first ones to leave.
As if the more they see,
The less they like.
The temptation of skinner
Of prettier
Of daintier
The idea of porcelain
Of red hair and freckles in winter
Of white skin in summer
Of small thighs wrapped around your waist
And a broken face looking to you.
Darling
If you wanted broken,
To fix someone's problems
Why'd you pick her?
Don't give me an answer,
Just let me ask.
That way I can pretend I don't know.
