holy trinity oneshot collection [ requests open! ]

-+- | utapri | reiji

I'm not sure if I'll ever publish this little oneshot in all honesty, but tonight I was feeling far more depressed than my usual every day to day existence so I thought maybe writing something cute with Reiji that hits more close to home would help me focus on my homework. Needless to say this wasn't a request and it's a little more on the serious side of things but it's still fluffy with comforting Reiji so we'll see if I ever publish this. (i guess if you're reading this then i published it lul well then okay future me i see how it is)

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{ your p.o.v }

"You alright there, kiddo?"

I didn't want to look up as I sat there with my back against a tree, my hands shaking as I stare down at where they're placed on my lap. I've been sitting here for probably a couple hours now. It's been quite a while and I really shouldn't have wandered off like this when I have so much work to be completed- but I couldn't help it. I needed to escape if only for a little while.

The caring brunette sat down on the lush green grass beside me, a warm spring breeze flowing past as I try to will the tears that slip down my cheeks to just stop. Though they're more persistent than I'd like to admit and refuse to listen to my pleads. They continue to fall only to land on my shaking hands.

Gosh, why am I so broken?

This world isn't the nicest and everyone goes through their own sets of hardships, I'm no fool. But this, whatever this is, is truly something I don't think I myself was ever prepared for. It feels almost as if the world is crashing down around me. There's so much pressure to perform well, to not have a single flaw and to finish my work seamlessly; to be perfect. Why must I be perfect when no human on this Earth is perfect? Is there a reason I have a never-ending amount of expectations to live up to? What singled me out amongst the rest of civilization?

Reiji stayed quiet as he placed an arm around my shoulders and gently pulled me to his side, the two of us sitting under this large tree with me silently crying without any real apparent cause. Though he never asked what was wrong. Instead, he offered nothing but soundless support and comfort and everything I never asked for but love all the same. He's such a great guy.

This idol in particular hasn't been one I've known long when compared to my old classmates, Reiji and I only working together for the last six months or so now while I've known the ST☆RISH members for a couple years. Though even with knowing me for so much less time, Reiji has made an effort to get close to me, to understand what goes on in my head when I grow just a little too quiet or when my smiles falter or when I get horribly lost in thought- he's always tried to understand me more than the others and I'm grateful for that. He's a breath of fresh air in this emotionally exhausting environment, a true radiant sun that shines light even on the darkest of days. I couldn't ask for a better idol that I get to compose for.

"You want to talk about?" The brunette asked softly, using his free hand to grab one of my own and lightly squeezing as his way of trying to comfort me in this currently inconsolable state. "Sometimes it helps to talk things out even if you don't really have an idea of what's wrong."

A shaky sigh slipped past my lips as I reached up with the hand he isn't holding and stubbornly wiped at my eyes. "It's just- I don't get it. There's so much pressure and I can't handle this, Reiji. My life is crumbling before my eyes and I don't know how to piece it back together." I said hopelessly.

Nodding, Reiji's arm around my shoulders tightened some. "Well, what exactly has you so worked up my girl? Anything in particular?"

I couldn't help but to let out a small, dejected laugh. "I have to compose so many songs, go out and watch over all of my idols, constantly consult with management and whatnot about future song ideas and concepts and that's not counting the meetings with my idols that I have individually concerning their songs and whatever other requests they have. There's no room for me to mess up, to procrastinate, to take time for myself- I don't have any time to relax and I can't function like this."

"You're burning out." The brunette said knowingly, the sound of birds chirping as they fly overhead, filling the calm silence with a lovely song. "You need to find time to do things that you want to do. There's no way anyone can do nothing but work and not fall into a rut eventually."

"But I can't do anything about my workload. This is what's expected of me."

"Then maybe it's time you finally talk to someone about possibly taking a much-needed vacation."

Hesitantly, I glanced up to meet Reiji's warm hazel eyes, my tears ultimately beginning to slow. It feels good being able to talk to someone about what's been bottling up for months now. "A vacation?" I repeated. "Won't there be consequences to me taking time off work?"

Shaking his head, Reiji chuckled. "As long as you talk to Shining, you'll be just fine. Your health and work will start to be heavily affected if you don't take some time for yourself and he understands that so don't be so scared, kouhai-chan. I'll even go with you to talk to him."

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips as the pent up tension that had been working its way through my muscles finally began to release while I relaxed into this brunettes side. "You'd really do that for me..?"

"I wouldn't let my special girl do this all alone- what kind of a boyfriend would I be if I did that?" He asked without batting an eyelash.

My eyes widened. "B-Boyfriend." I stuttered out.

Laughing, Reiji leaned down and placed a soft kiss to my forehead. "I like you ___ and want you to be my special girl, but first we have to ease some of that weight off your shoulders. How about we talk to Shining tomorrow? I could really use a vacation too ya know.~"

"He'll never allow us both to leave at the same time." I said with a laugh, the first genuine laugh I've had in a while.

"Worth a shot! Besides, even if you end up going on your own for a little bit, I'll always be here waiting for you.~" Reiji cooed, wrapping his other arm around my smaller frame as he forced me into a tight hug with no signs of letting me go anytime soon.

"I thought you were supposed to be comforting me- not trying to squeeze me to death?!"

"This is even better!"

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          This is present me talking after editing this oneshot and deciding to publish this random lil thing and oml why am I like this??? I straight up just wrote something for myself who am I?? Okay jkjk it's not the end of the world that I wrote a little something cute for my boy but aweeee look at me calling myself out for always being depressed and anxious and having tons of unhealthy mental breakdowns for the sake of a cute oneshot lmaO I'm a true mess but at least we a got a cute Reiji moment out of it :3

          Anyways humanity, the weekly requested oneshot will be posted tomorrow/ on Sunday as usual and ohmygosh is it c u t e or at least I think it is lul I might post more of these random oneshots that I write on a whim if you, my lovely readers, want to read those- but fair warning! Not all of the things my brain comes up with are happy and whatnot so non-requested oneshots that I write are more or less just a reflection of how I'm feeling at that time and holy hell do we all know that my emotions are all over the place lul as to anyone wanting to make a request, go back to the info chapter and request there <3 thanks for reading this lil oneshot that I wrote on a depression filled night everyone ^^ (lmaO seriously why am I like this xD)

    - ｋａｔ ♡

Written while Listening to: "My Destination" by Morikubo Showtaro~ (That song is such a bop and all of you sleeping on Reiji's seiyuu's songs are missing out cuz Show-chan is a  l e g e n d  among idols ♡)