The Journal of an Idiot

Overcoming

So we all have some sort of sadness. It gnaws and rips at our minds, and it controls us if we let it. But the thing is, we don't have to let it. I'm going to explain how I overcame multitudes of problems, insomnia, anorexia, panic attacks, anxiety, bullying, loneliness.

All that jazz.

Insomnia. That's my most hated problem. I couldn't get proper sleep for months. I realized I had it after five days with no sleep. So since I'm a practitioner in biokinesis and Umbrakinesis, I used the meditation skills I gained while learning those.

Meditating is focusing on one thing for at least five minutes. I like focusing on a candle, drops of water falling, my own breathing. I focus, letting all other thoughts and feelings go, and focus on the color, the light, the sound of it. In the end, my mind is more grounded and stable. So when I couldnt sleep, I closed my eyes, and imagined a circle. Now focus on your energy. Concentrate on it, and let it shrink with the circle. Usually a white circle represented energy, in a black background. I imagined it slowly getting smaller, along with my insomnia and energy. The circle would shrink, and finally disappear. I would usually feel exhausted afterwards. It may not work for some, but it did for me.

Anorexia. I had this for a short period of time because I thought I was chubby.  What I did to solve this problem was actually really simple. I used a measuring tape, measured my stomach area, and then compared it to the width of the average persons. It was small, and I realized I'm not eating enough. Now I'm always hungry. Like, for maybe three hours I won't be. But that's besides the point.

Tip: DO NOT EAT TOO MUCH AFTER OVERCOMING ANOREXIA. If you do, it's gonna hurt a lot. Eat a little more each day.

Panic Attacks. It took awhile, but I got a grip. I had been hyperfocusing in grades and school and home so much, I started getting small panic attacks, in which I would get extreamly dizzy and faces would occasionally become disoriented. I just had to close my eyes and breath. If that didn't work, I would usually think of something I liked. Video games, YouTube, archery, swimming. Anything. Then it'd kinda disappear.

Anxiety. Intensive fear and worry over everyday situations. Symptoms are rapid breathing, sweating, and faster heart rate. Just sit down and think a minute. Baby steps. That's it. Childish, but effective. Don't think ahead, think about now. Let someone pretend you going outside, and you apperantly a germaphobic. Baby steps out the door, baby steps down the street, then baby steps into the park. Don't think ahead. Just think about what's happening now, then what your going to do after. Do not exceed after, to after the after, if that makes sense, then you'll  be overthinking it.

Bullying. Oooh how I hated it. I was bullied because I knew about Umbrakinesis. I could create a small dimming affect in a room, but that was about it. I was teased because I believed in something others thought didn't exist. Though, to perform kinesics, you can't have a single doubt in your mind it won't work. You have to actually see it happening at that moment. You mind Is connected to your nerves, your nerves are connected to the floor, the floor is connected to the shadows. Everything is connected. Anyways, all I did was tell them I didn't give two craps what they thought. Even though I did, I just kept telling myself I did t care until I actually didn't care.

Loneliness: Okay, Okay, so I haven't overcame this one, or depression, but I like to use these, and all the ones above, to my advantage. I use them to make me tougher, stronger, wiser, and more experienced. I told myself if I could overcome this, I can overcome that. Though, loneliness, to me, is special. I actually like Loneliness. He's quiet. I have audio anxiety, it's a natural problem I can't really get rid of. When a noise, like at a noisy restaurant, is too loud, I start to panic, acting almost like a dog who can't get a dog whistle sound out of his head. I scratch, claw, and rub at my ears, and face. It's kinda bad. That's why I like the quiet. I do t have any Robles's with loneliness, because I know I lost all my best friends already. I'm still Lonley, even though I have friends. It's depressing that my two best friends are halfway across the U.S., but they're still great to talk to here on Wattpad. I'm not as lonley as I think I am. Loneliness is always there, but I know that who I am. I like who I am. So I like loneliness. It's a part of me. I'm fine with having friends to hang out with, but sometimes I just prefer to be alone in my room, doing art projects.

Welp. There's that. May not be useful, but I hope it helps, even the littlest bit. Also, I'de like to talk about the worst thing.

Suicideal thoughts.

.....

I hate this one, talking about it.... it sends shivers down my spine. But suicide is NEVER EVER EVER. ABSOLUTLY NEVER, the answer. If you're thinking about committing suicide, think of what would happen if someone close to you committed suicide. How would you feel? Now just imagine if you did. How would that person close to you would feel? That feeling is to hard to explain but it's everything depressing x 3000. I'm not joking, if your thinking about suicide, all I can say is to either think of what I just said, get a counselor, or ask for help from the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. That's all I can say.

Again, I hope this helps, and I just wanna say, People love and care about you, no matter what you think, no matter what your going through. Okay? Okay.

Catcha guys later.