What Was Missing

Four: -Lilian-

...

So... cold.. w...

So... cold.... why...?

So... black... Too... dark...

...why?

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Time has passed. I feel more conscious, but... not really.

It's pitch black. I'm surrounded by nothing. Not black... Nothing. All alone. Left... for gone. I breathe in, and breathe out, a wheeze I can barely hear. So cold... Shivering, I try to hug myself. I can't. My arms won't listen to me.

I try to open my eyes, and fail. I feel a faint flutter, and a withering voice slides into my ear.

"...She's coming to! She's waking up!..."

The male voice keeps shouting quietly, but it fades into an unintelligible garble. I try to roll over, but can't. Why can't they just leave me alone?

I'm starting to lose my control, but I hear a tight whisper before I do. Before I can. "...We're losing her! Quick..." The voice fades. Not... completely, but... almost. Why can't... they just leave me... alone...?

...

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Still... dark...

Wait... what...?

With a stab of piercing pain in my hip, my eyes shoot open and I scream. The shriek wakes me up like cold water splashing over my head, and with a jolt I raise my always-pale hands to my face. The air feels abnormally crisp and sharp, and I gasp in a cool breath. I tense my hands, unsure why they keep spinning. Slowly, they stop.

My normally acute vision blurs in and out, until finally I can see perfectly. Slowly, I raise my head.

Two doctors tower over me, one a bald man with a blue mask and a needle, and one a prim-looking woman with short blond hair. They both wear blue surgical gloves, and I realize for the first time that I'm laying on a hospital bed. Blond-hair looks worried, glancing at a clipboard, and Baldie is backing away. A light from above shines into my face, painfully bright, and I squint and avert my eyes. Slowly, my vision adjusts.

"I'm glad you're awake."

I pull myself to a sitting position, ignoring the cast on my left leg for the moment, and squint at the blond woman. She had been the one who had spoken, and she continues before I can get a word in.

"We didn't really hold much hope for you." She pauses. "You've been in a coma for a month, and your brain was unresponsive. That was really unwise, Lily. You have so much to live for." She stops again, pursing her lips.

"You have no lasting brain damage, but only because you got very lucky. It's uncommon for someone to survive a jump like that, let alone unscathed." She looks me straight in the eyes now. "Why did you jump, Lily?"

Suddenly, I remember.

Minor Note: Like Madeline, Lilian Youngblood describes memory in italics. We have yet to determine the cause for this, but many suggest it is a way for keeping the past separate from the present. We will refrain from adding similar notes in the future.

Dangling one leg over the edge of the suicide rail, I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I'm on a bridge composed of shiny green metal, smooth to the touch and great for the jump. I hold back tears for a sec, my eyes burning. First the bullying and death threats at school and online, then my mother and father stuck in the Iss. My parents, founding Iss Exploration, then getting stuck in it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of this life. I'm teased for my overly pale body's contrast with my long, black hair. 'Black and Fright,' they call me, cracking a joke at every opportunity. Well, I'm done. Have fun with the lawsuits once I'm dead.