Change Me

Chapter 7: "He's not that bad."

[ CJ's POV ]

Mababaliw na ako dito.

I'm a total twitchy scared mess. 'Di pa 'ko nakakalabas ng kwartong 'to simula nung nakapasok ako dito. Sobrang paranoid ko. 'Pag may naririnig akong footsteps or kaunting kalabog sa labas, feeling ko si Justin 'yun holding his gun, ready to shoot me to death.

The only thing that kept me sane in this place was Lola Percy. I only felt safe and relaxed whenever she's around. Kabaliktaran lahat ng nararamdaman ko 'dun kahit iniisip ko pa lang ang apo nya. I badly want to punch him right in his nose. I want to destroy his face. Gusto ko syang mabulok sa kulungan. Gusto ko nang makatakas dito.

How 'bout make my first attempt to escape now, what dya'll think?

Well, a guy can dream, people. Alam ko namang sobrang labo ng chance na makakalaya pa 'ko rito. But I would surely regret everything for the rest of my life kapag alam 'kong 'di ko man lang sinubukang makalayas dito.

Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at sumilip sa bintana.

Oh joys, just what i need. A little encouragement. I thought sarcastically.

All I could see was trees! I'm obviously in the middle of nowhere. I don't know kung paano umuwi samin. 'Di ko na kailangan pang itanong kung bakit hanggang ngayon 'di pa nahahanap ng mga pulis ang hideout na 'to. I wonder how did he find this place.

Naramdaman kong nag-init ang pisngi ko. Nagsisimula na namang humapdi ang mga mata ko.

Hindi, hindi ako iiyak. Of course hindi ako iiyak. Not again. Even I myself 'di magawang maniwala sa munting self-encouragement na ginagawa ko.

I paced back and forth, trying to miraculously come up with an effective plan. I brought my thumb into my mouth and grazed my nail with my teeth. I know it's disgusting but it's my coping mechanism. "C'mon, CJ..." I cheered myself up kahit na may mga luha nang nagbabantang magpakawala galing sa mga mata ko.

There's this one plan that's stuck in my head. And as dumb as it sounds; It was to run. I can't think straight anymore, desperation eating me.

Lumapit ako sa pinto and slowly swallowed down hard, natatakot na baka andun sya sa labas. See? I've become a paranoid wreck nang dahil sa McCann na 'yan. Kahit mga konti at walang kwentang bagay nga kinakatakutan ko na ngayon.

Dahan-dahan kong inabot ang knob ng pinto, still mentally preparing myself for what might happen kapag binuksan ko 'to. Sa sobrang kaba ko, nanginginig kong pinihit ito. A gentle click was heard, kasabay nito ang mas lumalakas na pagtibok ng puso ko. I bit my lower lip as I pulled the door open and when I popped my head outside, there was no one in sight. Perfect.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong magsaya kase sa totoo lang nasa level one pa lang ako. The true victory was to get out of this place without having the monster catch me. Nasa level 46 pa yata 'yun.

Doon pa nag sink in lahat nung nakalabas na ako ng kwarto. I'm actually doing this.

Agad akong bumaba sa hagdan, crossing my fingers na sana he's not lurking somewhere secretly watching me. I thanked God nang malaman kong hindi naka-lock ang front door. Stupid people. How could they be so careless to leave the door unlocked na para bang wala silang desperadang kinidnap na gustong makatakas? Oh well, there's no time for me to bother myself with that. Let's get back to business here.

I released a sigh of relief making my way outside the house. It's been ages since my lungs have experienced fresh air. The whole time kaseng andito ako eh nagmumukmok lang ako sa kwarto at naghihintay ng himala na sana pagkagising ko, isang nakakatakot na panaginip lang ang lahat.