EAT » [ziam]

eighteen

[You only ever touch me in the dark. Only if we’re drinking, can you see my spark]

~**~

“Best ass I’ve ever had.”

The aftermath of Luke’s decision left Zayn bloody and sticky inside. He felt betrayed and dirty as he couldn’t fathom anything going through his head. He just laid there—speechless—his body shaking uncontrollably. At this point, Zayn felt like there was no point in trusting anyone. He put all his eggs in one basket with Luke and look where it got him.

“You have no clue how long I’ve wanted to do that,” states Luke in a way of satisfaction, having stood up from the bed to zip up his pants. The whole point of talking to Zayn in the first place was to get a one-way ticket into his pants, so he wasn’t really a liar, just a deceiver.

“How was it, princess?” asks Luke, a smug expression present on his face while he slipped his shirt over his head. Anyone Luke slept with always came back for more; he considered himself great in bed and having someone moan in pleasure beneath him only fed his already big ego.

Not a single word left Zayn’s mouth. He couldn’t even look Luke in the eyes without getting frightened. Hell, he was still trying to get over the fact that one of the few things he had control over was taken away just like that. Well, at least he thought he had control over his own virginity, but fate likes to prove Zayn wrong.

“Why are you ignoring me?!” demanded Luke, approaching Zayn, who was curled up in a ball.

“Please don’t touch me,” begged Zayn, finally looking Luke in the eyes and it just wasn’t the same. “I- I should go. It’s my cousin’s birthday.” Zayn could give a rat’s ass about Zimran’s birthday, but he needed some excuse to leave.

As he started walking over to the door, Luke grabbed him by the hip to stop him and whispered in his ear, “See you around?” It was more of a question that sent chills down Zayn’s spine and made his skin crawl.

He grips the doorknob and doesn’t turn around to face Luke or else he wouldn’t be able to muster up any words. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

Before Luke can even retaliate, Zayn is already walking out the door and finding his way out of Luke’s house. When he passed through the living room—where Ashton, Michael, and Calum were still seated watching a movie—Zayn couldn’t even spare them a glance either. His screams filled the house and anyone in it could have heard him when he was begging Luke to stop having his way with him. They all knew what was going on in the room down the hall and didn’t even bother second guessing their decisions.

He darts out the front door, followed by slamming it, and begins his walk back to his house. It was close to sundown, as the street lights were beginning to light up the dull sky. Conveniently, he only lived a couple blocks down, but when you have so many thoughts going through your mind, a simple walk can feel tedious. And as this short walk that felt strenuous went on, Zayn started to cry silently to himself. It took all his might to not bawl like an emotional mess back at Luke’s house, and at last he could just let out his emotions. Zayn preferred to cry when he was all by himself, that way, no one could judge him.

Eventually he arrived at the street he lived on, and the loud music booming from his house a few feet down was an indicator that the party was still going strong and steady. The last thing he needed at the moment was his judgmental family.

The smell of barbeque was basking in the air as he got closer and closer to his home. A few of his younger cousins and nieces and nephews were running around in the backyard, not giving one damn. Zayn wishes he could go back to that, when he was a kid and had not one worry in the world. He could play with his toys and just be himself and not worry about having to always please everyone and balance the brink of adulthood on his shoulders.