All Because Of You (Manthony)

•Chapter 30•

Mitchel's POV
Part 3

I drop the necklace and force myself out of Jesse's grasp. I take my ring off and drop it along with the necklace. I grab my keys and walk out the house. I hear foot steps behind me but I keep walking.

"Mitchel, wait-" I keep walking but a familiar hand hits mine. I swallow hard and turn around.

"Don't touch me." I mutter. I pull my hand away and look at Christian for what seemed to be the millionth time tonight.

"Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted from the beginning? I have done absolutely nothing but be there for you, love you, care for you, give you what you want, and so on and so forth. I dealt with you pulling me in and out. I dealt with you hurting my ex regardless of what he did to me. I dealt with all of that and this whole time I wasted my fucking time?" I kept repeating myself over and over and I hated it. I sounded like a broken record.

"I find it hard to believe that you didn't love me at all, considering the fact that you spent a year and half of your life with me. If you were oh so uncomfortable, I'm sure you would've ended this much earlier."

"Then don't let it end now, please." I shake my head and hold my breath. I didn't want to. It was the complete opposite of what I wanted but I needed to think about the reality of it all. Even when he was with Alexa, he cheated on her with me. All this time later, he's with me, and he cheats on me with her. I hated being this way, but a huge part of me knew that if it happened once then it was bound to happen again. In life, things happen and it's up to you to figure out what's rights and what's not. As much as I wanted to convince myself that this was right and we could eventually be happy, I knew deep down inside we couldn't and we wouldn't.

"Please." I sigh and take his hands into mine.

"Look." I swallow hard and look down.

"The mere of thought of losing someone is terrifying. As angry and hurt as I am, and as upset and angry at yourself that you may be, we can't force ourselves to stay in a situation because it's what we're used to."

I wonder if it's possible for your heart to break more than once in one day.

"I've told you this since day one, Christian. From the moment I met you, you made my life better. You changed things for the better and everybody loves you. Never did I imagine losing you but things happen."

"You don't have to lose me and I don't have to lose you." He states dramatically.

"Yes. I do. You made that decision. Maybe if you had broken up with me the regular way, I would be hurt but we would still be friends." His face drops and I close my eyes.

"W-what do you mean?" He stutters. Confusion washes over his face and pain covers every inch of my body.

"You might not understand now, and that's fine but you will at some point. I have spent all this time with you. I've gotten to know you even more than ever, which I didn't know was possible. I got to know your heart whether you loved me or not. You're a great person, Christian. You mean everything to me, but everything between us has been broken. I can't lose you in a relationship and stay in a friendship and act like everything is normal."

Tears begin to fall and I bite my lip nervously. I let go of his hands and look up into his teary eyes.

"You can coordinate when you'll get your stuff out of the apartment. I'll handle the rest."

"This doesn't have to be this way. I promise I'll be there for you."

"Promise you will always be there for me?"

"You and your cheesy shit."

"Well?"

"That means you'll always be here for me."

"Of course. We will always be there for one another. No matter what. Always and forever."

I blink a few times and shake my head.

"You broke that promise."

"That's really it? The end of our friendship? The end of our relationship? The end of everything?"

I shrug and nod my head.

"And the band?"

"I'm out." I admit.

I wanted a new start. Something completely different. Maybe I would pursue a solo career. Maybe I wouldn't do anything. Who knows. I had time and there was so much more to figure out before I did any of that. For the last time, I step closer and embrace him in a hug. I was beyond angry and beyond heart broken but I wasn't going to leave completely empty handed. I didn't want to leave him empty handed either. Cheesy and stupid, I know. I pull away and cup his face in my hands. I press my lips against his and he pulls me closer. I quickly pull away and open my car door. I swallow hard and get in. I start the car and pull out the driveway. I had a feeling he knew better than to come and follow me. I'm sure someone would provide him somewhere to stay until he moved all of his things out. I roll down the window and continue straight ahead. Everything felt so empty. It was an odd feeling. Earlier on in the night, I expected to have fun. I expected to get drunk and fuck around with my friends. I expected to end the night by falling asleep next to Christian like usual. Now I was going home alone. It was no longer "our" home. It was now a place I was going because I had to. Soon enough, our things would be moved out and I would get rid of the apartment. The cool breeze blows through my air and the bright red lights blinded me each time. I stop at the red light and glance at my phone.

11:30

No messages.

Usually I would always have something from Christian. That would no longer happen. I hear a beep behind me and I continue to drive. I arrive to the apartment complex and pull into the parking lot. The time seemed to go by faster than usual, and I was just following it like a lost puppy. I find my way to my apartment and unlock the door. It now felt empty. It was cold, dark and distant. I throw my jacket on the couch and place my keys on the counter. I make my way around and put the pictures of Christian and I face down. I contemplate whether I want to sleep in the bed or on the couch.

"Fuck it." I mutter. I kick my shoes off and take my shirt off. I hear my phone buzz from the kitchen but my laziness only gets the best of me. I lay back and look over at the empty spot next to me. I rub my hand across the pillow and roll over on to (what used to be) Christian's side of the bed. In some way, his essence was still present. I grab the blanket from the foot of the bed and drape it over me. I was used to cuddling close to Christian and falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. I liked cliché moments.

Now, all I heard were cars and silence. I hug myself from the absence of touch and close my eyes. I let my thoughts drift off and spin around in my head.

Christian pops into my mind and I tighten my grip around myself. The bed felt so big with only one person. I didn't like it. I didn't like any of it. I sigh and sleep begins to take over.

It was hard to believe I had everything, and then I lost everything.

The End.